Hell's Half Acre (hells_half_acre) wrote,
Hell's Half Acre

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Quick Reaction: 13x17 The Thing


I got a ride home tonight, which was nice, but that means less time to sober up. It also means, no music lyrics to take us through the cut, so instead I will use my tl;dr version of my review:

We begin our episode in Portsmouth RI, where a flapper is being put onto an alter by seemingly the MoL, only they've added a weird eye to their logo. Also, my friend, who was not drinking (unlike me) was sober enough to notice that the continuity was all off - because she'd have a gag in her mouth, and then she wouldn't, then she'd have one again, then she wouldn't....OOPS! Where was your script supervisor SPN? (I think that's what they're called, I once looked into becoming one - but then decided against it, but they're basically the people who sit next to the director and make sure that you've got continuity between takes.)

ANYWAY... the MoL open a ceiling portal and IN COMES A TENTACLE. 

Then we cut to Sam and Dean - Sam has fallen asleep while researching, meanwhile, Dean softly sticks post-its to his back saying things like "Ass Face' and "Kick Me"... and it's all the more amusing given the fact that Sam and Dean are the ONLY TWO PEOPLE WHO LIVE THERE. 

Sam found a reference to the Seal of Solomon in a book, and reads it, and drives me nuts, because he reads a sentence that says "..., but the seal was a jewel of the cosmos..." and then Dean interrupts him to posit that it might be a meteor, and Sam shrugs, and then NEVER FINISHES THE SENTENCE. HOW DID IT END? WHAT WAS THE NEXT LINE? OH MAN.

Anyway, it's archives time! They go to a a room where Dean declares, sarcastically I'm sure, that he loves books - and then we get a research montage, which I always secretly enjoy (or not secretly I suppose, since I'm telling you all.) Finally, just as Sam's getting a snack from the kitchen and discovering that his back is covered in notes, Dean stumbles upon a note in the archives that the "Treasure of Solomon" was at a chapter house of the MoL in Rhode Island. Excited at the news, Dean declares "Jinkies!" much to Sam's annoyance. I do like that they kept that continuity in. :)

So, it's off to Rhode Island, where they discover the Chapter House has a sewer door entrance. I am surprised, given the fact that Jared has a bad knee (which I'm pretty sure is not new to the latest con) that Jared actually does the drop down himself. As someone who also has bad knees, I tend to not drop down from heights over 1 foot, and not even that if I can avoid it.


They also notice the weird eye addition to the emblem. Then they find MORE BOOKS, which gives Sam the opportunity to tell Dean "you love books" and also triggers my psychological problem where if something is potentially useful I can't STAND if they leave it behind... so, when Sam conveniently spots the Solomon 1917 file, and then they hear the voice yelling for help, I'm like "NO, PUT THE FILE IN YOUR BAG FIRST AND TAKE ALL THOSE BOOKS, OH GOD!" But no, instead they go running after the voice....

I should say that my sober friend originally thought the voice was a dog barking, because she didn't recognize it as a woman shouting, and she thought "wow, they are really going for this John Carpenter reference." but nope.

Turns out, the woman yelling is good old Sandy Porter, who Dean happened to see a picture of in the book room with basic facts. She is still chained to the alter.

Then we cut to Asmodeus - or rather, Ketch coming to try to visit Asmodeus. He's told to wait.

Back with Sam and Dean! THEY'VE FREED THE HIGHLY SUSPICIOUS WOMAN. Oh man, you guys, you totally just let The Thing out. I spot that Sam has his shoulder bag though, so I assume that he at the very least put that Solomon file in there and I'm feeling a little bit better that they aren't complete idiots.

Ketch reads until it's clear that the guards are distracted with an app that sounds like Neko...whatever the heck that app was with the kitties that everyone was into one or two years back. He slips by and gets into the thrown room, only to discover that Asmodeus is draining Gabriel's grace in order to inject it into himself... which explains why he suddenly had the ability to shapeshift! At which point, me and my friend were like, wait, maybe ASMODEUS is the thing! (And you know, he still could be, but I'll get to that.)

He gets mad at Ketch for barging in while he's shooting up, so he goes and plunks him back into the hallway, flashing his now-white eyes at him... and I'm like "white eyes? They're supposed to be yellow?" and then me and my friend figure that it probably has to do with the angel grace and that he might actually be using some sort of Compulsion spell on Ketch.

Before we get into that though, we go back to the diner, where we meet a talkative waitress and Marco the chef. Marco is more than he appears, because when Sam and Dean walk in with Sandy, he makes a phone call, and we see that he's got the modified MoL tattoo.

Sandy tells the boys about how she was abducted to feed a monster from another world. Sam and Dean are like "ooo, another world you say? Sounds conveniently like what we're interested in..." but outloud they promise to protect her from the bad men.  Meanwhile, Marco drugs their food.

Ketch and Asmodeus talk about the Wincheter's putting together ingredients for a spell to open a portal to the other world. Ketch already knows that Castiel just got back from the Holy Land, and Asmodeus is not impressed that this all isn't brand new information to Ketch - since that means that Ketch may have been holding back information from him. Ketch tries to spin it, but it's too late. Admosdeus wants Ketch to understand that he's Asmodeus's subordinate, underling, slave-type person, rather than a consultant with free will, and to drive this point home, he beats him. Meanwhile, Gabriel looks on from his cage in the wall.

Sam and Dean talk about Sandy, since she's fled the diner after becoming upset at retelling her story. They apparently tested her with all the usual tests and she passed. Then they get served their food, and Sam eats right away, while Dean continues to chat - it's enough time for another patron to notice all the suspicious cloaked figures outside and call attention to them. The drugs his Sam fast and hard, but Dean escapes their influence having not eaten yet, and when the cloaked figures come in for Sandy, Dean starts throwing punches.

Sandy's the one to kill someone first, rather than just continue the fist-fight. With that, the cloacked figures decide to just surround the building...after kidnapping Sam, of course. Once they're alone in the diner, they discover that one of the cloaked figures was the Sheriff. Still, Dean is NOT impressed that Sam has been taken.

Sam, meanwhile, gets to meet his kidnappers, who turn out to be two other grandchildren of the MoL - this time though, their grandfather wasn't the pinnacle and the MoL, but instead a disillusioned veteran of WWI, who thought that the best thing for humanity was to get some new gods into play - it was he, Diego, that summoned Yokoth from another dimension into the body of Sandy Porter. She then promptly ate everyone. The MoL disowned Diego and the entire Chapter House (but seemingly never came to collect their stuff or take away their keys?) and ever since they've had Yokoth chained in the Chapter House, and they've been starving her in the hopes that she'll eventually die.

Admodeus is shooting up again, and monologuing to Ketch. He points out how Ketch is a huge hypocrite, because he claims to have a code under the BMoL, but then he works for Asmodeus - so he's broken it. And that he pretends to be a cold-blooded killer, but really he's just full of fear, regret, and pain. That he seeks redemption, but he'll never get it... and then he has a line that I actually absolutely love, because he says that all people like Ketch do, instead of redemption, is "spread [their] pain around." It's a good line!

Back at the diner, the clocked figures suddenly disappear, and they send the poor hapless guy out to investigate (why not Dean, the trained warrior who should probably be walking into danger instead of some innocent dude? Who knows!) and the dude gets killed by...dun dun dun... SANDY, who is definitely The Thing. Dean then comes out to see what that death-cry was all about, and she tentacles him too.

We rejoin Ketch, as he's pulling his own broken tooth out, and taking stock of his situation. He starts talking to Gabriel and then gets the brilliant idea to rescue him and escape to the Sam and Dean... Gabriel is VERY RELUCTANT to be rescued in this fashion, which to me means SOMETHING IS VERY MUCH UP! And I'm still not convinced that this isn't all just part of Asmodeus' plan... like, why beat Ketch, and then leave him seemingly alone in front of Gabriel's cage? A cage that he can just OPEN. And why would Gabriel be reluctant to go - he conveniently can't tell us, because his lips are still sewn shut.

Sam goes back to the dinner, where the waitress tells him that she thought he was dead. "No, not yet," Sam replies, and me and my friend have a laugh. We then learn that since Yokoth has fed, she'll not be interested in feeding anymore, but rather BREEDING... and we really do get into the tentacle porn part of this episode, because that is what they surmise she has seemingly kidnapped Dean for.

Sure enough, Sandy has Dean chained down on the alter, and tells him about how Gylthur, her mate, was supposed to be summoned down after her - but wasn't, and Dean is cute, so he's now going to be Glthur's hose. Dean agrees that this is a tragic hallmark story, but with more tentacles.

Luckily, just as Sandy opens the rift, Sam and the EyeMoL run in. They are able to distract Sandy enough with bullets and whatnot that Dean can get himself out of the shackles and away from the tentacle monster attacking him from the rift. He's able to get off the alter, and instead the tentacles pick up Sandy and pull her through the rift, just as Sam closes it. How convenient! They solved ALL THE PROBLEMS IN ONE FIGHT.

The EyeMoL let Sam and Dean take the seal, since they obviously don't need it anymore and it's caused nothing but trouble - and they tell them how to use it. The spell only lasts for 24 hours though!

Once they're back at the bunker, they realize that all they need is an archangel and then they're set! Conveniently, that's when Ketch steps out of the shadows lugging Gabriel behind him. He asks for protection from Asmodeus in exchange for giving them Gabriel. Dean makes the deal, because he's singularly focused on getting mom back. 

Sam starts cutting Gabriel's lips apart, but Gabriel's still not answering questions or piping up with information.

Dean declares, much to Sam's surprise, that they're doing the spell RIGHT AWAY, and that Dean is going in alone, because it makes sense for Sam to stay on the outside as a failsafe - if Dean doesn't make it back to the rift, Sam can do the spell again and come in and save him. Sam is reluctant to agree, even more so when Ketch volunteers to go with Dean. But, Dean convinces him, or orders him and Sam obeys (which means that Dean convinced him) to stay behind and so they do the spell and off Dean and Ketch go...

Next week, we see the aftermath of that - looks like it was filmed on a particular snowy few days this year - which, I believe was back in early December, unless i'm remembering wrong, or they just filmed on a mountain! 

Anyway, yeah, not like... the best episode in the world, but it had it's moments - and I definitely think there's gotta be more here than meets the eye, which is sure to bite them in the ass next week.

As usual, let me know what your thoughts are in comments!!  This entry was originally posted at https://hells-half-acre.dreamwidth.org/555777.html.
Tags: quick reaction, season 13

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