Wow, I'm not as think as you drunk I am.
TIME FOR EPIUSODE!!
We begin in Malta, which is... in Spain? Italy? Dudes, unless something was a major battle in a world war, or somewhere I have been to personally, I have no idea where it is. This is the truth. THE POINT IS, there is a Nunnery, and not the FUN kind of nunnery, but an ACTUAL NUNNERY with NUNS. Sassy nuns, who stare down thieves who are trying to steal their relic skulls - sadly, stares do little, and the thief knocks the nun out and then absconds with the skull.
Then we get to the Bunker, which remains a lovely piece of Art Deco architecture, but DOES take out show off the road, and I do sometimes miss that - though I suppose if Sam and Dean were still homeless 15 years into their adventure and 30+ years into life, they'd be pretty goddamn worn out. I don't even like staying in hostels anymore.
ANYWAY, we find out that Castiel is in Syria trying to find some fruit. I just thought of a REALLY tasteless joke that I will KEEP TO MYSELF, oh god, I'm a horrible person. BUT, this answers my question of "what the heck are they going to do with Cas, since Misha isn't in that many episodes..."
In the meantime, Sam and Dean have decided to track down the Blood of the Most Holy Man - which they need for their speller-ma-jig.
Sam thinks that the blood of a saint would be a good bed *SHRUG*
And so it's off to SAN FRANSICO
As the boys enter what is an homage to NOIR...though, done in the colours of a typical SPN episode of the newer season, so it's actually a little less NOIR than S6 was, which was a very NOIR season. Why am I capitalizing that would and possible spelling it wrong? MYSTERY!
BUT, this did bring up up BELA among me and my friend, who thought it'd be AMAZING if they suddenly had Bela show up - BUT, I was a wet blanket and pointed out that Bela is making that sweet sweet Walking Dead money now, and so it was not to be.
Instead we got a 40s starlet type in REDHEAD WOMAN. Who has a thing for Sam - because she obviously likes to be dominated in bed. What?
She sends them to Richard Greenstreet, in SEATTLE. He likes powdered donuts and CHICANERY - which, after putting Sam and Dean down, and seeing thought their flimsy ruse, he HIRES to chicane on his behalf - because although he claims to have the blood of a saint, he will not give it to them unless they get him the stolen skull - which was stolen by the boss of the Seattle Mob, who is still remarkably Italian. Seriously? You'd think the different geographic regions would have different ethnicities of mob.
It's Peter's Skull that was the stolen object, btws.
Sam and Dean briefly have a conversation about whether they should do chicanery or not. Sam is NOT SO SURE HE LIKES THIS, because he is a good person. Dean is like "the world isn't perfect, so who cares if we're perfect while we save it?" And Sam is like "sounds like words, I guess you win this round!" and gets in the car to go chicane.
They stop at a cafe, where Dean hits on an attractive woman who is into the supernatural - because Sam is all like "DEAN! I'M SITTING RIGHT OVER HERE! DID YOU NOT SEE ME?!" and I was hoping attractive-woman would come into play again, but she does not.
Instead we learn that Sam has tracked flights and passengers between Malta and Seattle (like...connecting flights too? Because I HIGHLY DOUBT there is a direct flight, just saying, as someone who lives in the area.) And has found a LIKELY SUSPECT who is staying at the Patricia Hotel.... which is a real hotel in Vancouver (don't stay there though, it's the downtown east-side), but probably not a real hotel in Seattle. they use a really nice stock-footage shot of Seattle though, just to make sure we know where we are. Nice job, Show.
Where was I?
Oh yeah, the guy they've been tracking is MURDERED already. So, there goes that!
They are interrupted in their investigation by a dude who claims to be a cop, but obviously isn't, who has them cuffs themselves to a radiator - but doesn't really look while they do it, so I was surprised that they actually did. He leaves shortly after, and Sam just pulls out a bunch of handcuff keys and frees them - causing Dean to compliment Sam on being always prepared, and Sam is all like "and you're..." and doesn't finish, implying, perhaps, that Dean is not always prepared - but dudes, Dean can pick cuffs with a paperclip of a car antennae, he's good.
There's a sketchy dude that clocks the fake cop as he leaves.
Meanwhile, the boys walk out to the Impala and find is surrounded by the mob, who tell them to come with them and then one of them DRIVES THE IMPALA. And we are all enraged by this blaspheme.
Then my notes say "Kitty!" which means that we cut to the mod bosses house, where he has a fluffy kitty.
He's looked them up, and informs them that they died 6 years ago. I'm pretty sure the last time they died for the FBI was S7, So, that checks out if you don't cound the year that Dean spent in Purgatory as a year - which the show doesn't.
The mob boss dude goes on about how he's the good guy, because he's protecting the religious relics and giving them a place of honour - Dean points out that they already had places of honour before he stole them. Mob boss guy doesn't like this audience participation that much.
He complains about how he paid for the skull half upfront, and now it's missing and his dude is murdered. He proposes that if they find the skull for him, he'll give them money to buy what they need off of Greenstreet. Dean is like "deal" and Sam is like "ugh" and then it's back to the hotel to investigate.
For some reason, although they are in lovely trench coats, they did not bring their FBI badges with them? Because instead of going in with authority, they have to pull the fire alarms to avoid the cops. Sam searches while Dean makes sure the coast is clear - but then Sam gets dinged in the head by someone wielding a landline.
Me: "That's the second time in the series that Sam's been knocked out with a phone."
Me: "I can't believe I know that."
The guy who knocked Sam out takes the piece of paper he found and leaves - but he's followed by fake-cop guy.
Dean, meanwhile, comes across the unconscious Sam and has a moments freakout before he finds a pulse. WAY TO GIVE DEAN STRESS, SAM!
Sam comes to and they leave the hotel, and he doesn't appear to have a concussion, even though anything that makes you lose consciousness that long would probably leave you with a concussion, especially if you've been knocked out as many times in your life as Sam has. That guys head is held together with masking tape at this point.... though, I guess they have Cas to heal them, so many everytime is like the first time now. Still, concussion-city if you were out for that long. I was out for a hot second once after a bicycle accident (before helmet laws) and ended up concussed out of my gourd.
They hear what appears, at first, to be the murder of the dude who knocked Sam out - but as it turns out HE'S ALIVE! And he turns out to be a priest from Malta who only hurt Sam because he panicked and he's REALLY SORRY. He's there to buy back the skull, with all the money that the nunnery could get. (Dude, if that Nunnery is connected to the catholic church, which it has to be if it's got the skull of St. Peter - it could get a lot more money than that, my friends.)
ANYWAY...they have a philosophical discussion about the state of the world. The priest believes that just because you can't change the world, doesn't mean that you shouldn't make an effort. That you can't excuse sins, or give a bad man power, just because the world will never be perfect - you have to believe that even if it's never perfect, it can always be BETTER.
Sam decides that his morals feel WAY better if they help the priest, rather than work to their own ends - and so he decides that they're still going to go after the skull, but this time it'll be for the priest. Dean is like "ah, come on" but Sam is all stubborn Sammy - and convinces Dean buy asking what Dean would do if someone stole the Impala. And Dean is like "Murder them all" and Sam is like "harsh, but okay - well, this is what that skull means to the nunnery" and then Dean is like "torture first - then murder" and Sam is like "you aren't even listening anymore, so I win." AND HE DOES!
Luca remembers the numbers on the paper - and it's a tracking number for a package.
Unfortunately, fake cop picks up the package first. So they follow him to the meet-up.
It turns out the meetup is with REDHEAD, GREENSTREET, MOB-BOSS
.... and then I made a note I can't read that looks like "(needed more phelling)" which doesn't make any sense whatsoever. OH! I know what it is!!! "Needs more packaging" THAT SKULL WOULD NOT HAVE SURVIVED A TRANS-ATLANTIC TRIP WITH SO LITTLE PADDING IN THE BOX!
While Sam goes in to take part in the upcoming auction, Dean and the priest have a conversation about faith. The priest believes in miracles, but Dean is like "I know for a fact that God doesn't give a shit about us"... and like, DEAN, God DID INTERVENE FOR YOU, geezus... but, you know, granted, it was almost an incidental intervention. ANYWAY, the priest is like "I don't mean a miracle as in the hand of God - I just mean that I believe that good things can happen" and Dean is like, okay, *shrug*
Sam shows up inside with his suitcase of money. I wish I had a suitcase of money.
Meanwhile, Dean takes out the entire mob via sleeper-holds, in order to protect the priests delicate sensibilities. It's KINDA ADORABLE.
Greenstreet turns the auction into a gunfight by turning RedHead's henchman against her.
Listen... I love Amanda Tapping as a creator, but I did not like this gunfight sequence... so, I will chalk it up to the idea that Amanda was trying something new while she had a particularly willing sandbox, and has now learned her lesson.
During the gun fight, the priest gets shot - and Sam and Dean are like "OH NOES! THE ONLY GOOD ONE AMONG US SINNERS" but It's OKAY! It's JUST A GRAZE! Which means that the priest gets his miracle, and the skull.
With the bad men dead or arrested, Sam and Dean take the priest to the airport or somewhere... and Sam compliments him on his many achievements of being a good person. And he asks about a particular honour bestowed on him that he doesn't know the translation to (which I find dubious, given that Sam knows Latin REALLY WELL at this point) but the priest indulges him and is like "oh yeah, the Pope called me that - it roughly means "most holy man" and Sam and Dean are like - HOLD THE PHONE! GIVE US YOUR BLOOD.
Then they go back to the Bunker, and we get a really nicely framed end conversation to make up for the gunfight.
Sam's slight depression rears up again and he's like "don't you just feel like we're always on defense - going from apocalypse to apocalypse" and Dean is like "that's kinda how it works" and Sam is all like "but do you think there's a way to actually change things, rather than just have never-ending hunting" (this is all paraphrase of course) and Dean is like "that'd be nice" and then he thinks about it and says, yes, that he has "faith".
So, that's cool! It does make me wonder if they're setting the groundwork for a possible series finale... but I also kinda think that they're probably not, because they've talked about such things before...ie: last season when the BMoL and Mary wanted to end all monsters/hunting, and in S8 when Sam was going to close hell at the least... BUT, it'd be kinda cool if they were... and they MIGHT BE. Or it could be setting up just the season finale where they get a weird shot at it, but it ends up doing more bad than good or something.
ANYWAY, fun times... kind of your more ho-hum MOTW, but there were some good character points in there.
NEXT TIME IS SCOOBY! But we have to wait for 3 weeks.
As usual, let me know what you thought in comments - sorry about how hard the wine hit me tonight.
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