We're finally back to our regularly scheduled Supernatural nights - with me going to my friend's place and drinking copious amounts of wine. Tonight was a very nice Pinot Noir, which made me regret my usual "white wine only" rule... which I instituted one year mainly because I couldn't afford to have my teeth cleaned at the dentist, rather than out of any sort of hatred for red wine (though they do often give me headaches).
ANYWAY... I'm already rambling, so this should be a fun write up - let's get started. Usual rules apply: I've watched the episode once, while intoxicated and I'm still intoxicated - so only correct me if I ask you to or I've gotten something so horrendously wrong that it's a matter of life or death.
Also, I don't have spell check, so just forgive spelling - at this point, I'm 35, and I'm not going to get any better at it.
Okay, so first off, I'm excited because this episode has Eileen - you guys, I love Eileen. I REALLY REALLY LOVE EILEEN. I would sing a song about her, but I don't think I can top Dexy's Midnight Runners.
Before we get to Eileen though, we have to sit through a bunch of other stuff. BORING. Okay, not really... only some of it. I'll talk about it.
We begin in 1987, where we find out that Mick is a little older than me, but not by that much. Anyway, he's in London, at Kendrick's School for Men of Letters Douchebags, and we find out that it's not so much like Hogwarts, but more like...uh, the Hunger Games, or possibly Thunder Dome. Basically, two may enter, but only one may leave. Also, if they're setting up a room for a bloody brawl between 12 year-olds, you'd think they'd put plastic over more surface area.
I've gotten ahead of myself... I'll explain for those of you who don't watch the show anymore but still read my drunked write-ups out of curiosity: Mick and his friend Tim are friends, then the Headmistress - a Dr. Hess - invites them into a room and tells them both that they're great students, but only one of them can graduate to the next level and the other one will be dead - and then she leaves them in a room with a knife and a VERY SMALL section of the floor covered in a plastic tarp. It's a classic obedience test - where only the most obedient will kill their friend and graduate. Because that's what the "code demands" which is pretty dumb. Anyway, Mick kills his friend.
Seems a pretty stupid graduation test to me, as you'd be killing off really good students - it's a bit like cutting off your nose to spite your face.
Let's cut to something better - SAM AND EILEEN!!
Guys, I ship them so hard it's ridonkulous. They are video-chatting, all adorably, and Eileen is telling Sam about how she's been trying to track down Dagon for them. AWWWWWW... friends.
Dean's in the car too, and Sam points the video-chat at him a couple of times so that he can enunciate into camera. It's awesome.
Then Sam waves goodbye to Eileen and Dean calls them cute, and he is RIGHT.
Back at the Bunker, Sam floats the idea of asking Crowley for help, because they haven't heard from Cas. But they're interrupted in their discussion by the fact that Mick is in their house, drinking their booze. Rude. Apparently if you have a key to one Men of Letter's Chapter House, you have a key to EVERY Men of Letter's Chapter House. Seems like a security risk to me - and I really hope that Sam and Dean take advantage of that in the future, while simultaeously correcting the problem in their own abode.
Mick is all "I'm here on very important business" because apparently he JUST got wind that a nephilim existed. Sam and Dean are both like "old news, buddy" and then Mick is all like "WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME?" and they're like "Need to know basis, and you didn't need to know" which is such a John Winchester line (but also just a Winchester line at this point.) Mick insists that they should have shot her, and they're like, "she was raped by the devil, I think she has enough problems." But Mick doesn't really get it.
So the boys suggest they all get drunk.
Then we cut to Lucifer... and listen, I'm not going to lie, I just really really hate this storyline. I'm not going to pay much loving attention to it and I apologize. Anyway, Lucifer is getting an update from Dagon, who tells him that everything is cool with Kelly and the baby.
Back with Mick, who is having another nightmare about killing his 12-year-old BFF 3eva. (That 3 was a typo, but it actually fits, given that it wasn't 4eva at all.)
He's woken up by Dr. Hess calling him, who seems to run the BMoL. She declares that the Winchesters are hopeless and it's time to step things up because of the Nephilim. She wants to "settle America" and basically it comes down to the idea that the Winchesters either obey or they're killed. (Sounds like some colonialist bullshit to me - didn't that all get us in this horrible trouble to begin with - do the British never learn?! People have such short memories these days.) This is also the point where I make a borg joke, because she's basically "assimilate or be destroyed." So, they're the British Borg.
Then we cut to Kelly and Dagon. Kelly keeps having pains and wants to go to a doctor. Dagon is all like "UGH NO DOCTORS!" But Kelly is insistent, so she caves.
Then we're back to Dean and Sam, who are both really hungover - Sam wonders when the last time they heard from their mum was... then Mick waltzes in, all not hungover, and is like "She's fine with Mr. Ketch" and Sam's all like "Would you want YOUR mom hanging out with Ketch?" And Mick is all like "I HAVE A TRAGIC BACKSTORY!" No, really, he tells them that he doesn't have parents, was a homeless kid (in the 80s? I mean, really? Does Britain still have a homeless kid problem? I thought that was nipped in the bud somewhere around the World Wars.) Anyway...he pickpocket a cursed coin out of a BMoL pocket and then they recruited him for "showing promise"... I guess sticky-hands is a good skill.
Back with Kelly, she's getting a sonogram, and Dagon mind-controls the doctor to tell her that everything is "a-ok" which it isn't really, but Dagon wants to reveal that later.
Back with Lucifer and Crowley, I wrote "monologue" even before anyone spoke, because that's how much I love this storyline...which is to say not at all. Anyway, there are dog jokes, and then Lucifer decides he's going to give Crowley what he wants, seemingly because he's decided that being Crowley's slave is still better than being locked in the cage with Michael, who he still claims is insane, also he refers to him as his "little bro" which DOESN'T MAKE SENSE. Gabriel had a WHOLE SPEECH ABOUT THIS GUYS! Listen, watch your own damn show, writers. (Sorry, it's just... rar.)
Let's return to Mick, who doesn't piss me off as much...
He phones Ketch, and we find out that Ketch is with Mary. Then Ketch and Mick reminise about school or something... or maybe Mary makes a comment about them being in school together? I don't know, all I wrote was "Ketch&Mick ->School" So, lord knows what that means.
But this leads Ketch and Mary to discuss school, and Mary tells Ketch that she "learned on the job"
Then we're back to Mick, who hears a noise in his temporary BMoL HQ. It turns out to be Rene Rowlings, who is Dr. Hess' lapdog. I then later forget his name and refer to him constantly as Ross in my notes. But I have it written this first time as Rene.
Anywho, Rene has been sent to make sure Mick is obedient or some such, and it's the beginning of the end for ol' Micky.
Back to the random doctor... also, wait, why did the actual doctor do the sonogram? Is that the way it works in America? Because in Canada, the Doctor sends you to a sonogram clinic, then a technition does the sonogram all silent like, and then sends your doctor the info, and then you go see your doctor and your doctor is like "you're all fucked up!"... granted, I have never been pregnant and have only had sonograms for non-pregnancy reasons, but I just assumed that's how it worked for the preggo people too. I could be wrong though, maybe preggo people are special and they get the doctor doing the ultrasound technicians job and being like "you're all fucked up!" right away? ...that just occured to me... if any of you have been preggo in the states before, let me know what the sitch is. I just assumed everyone got a silent technician who didn't tell you squat so that your doctor could break bad news to you gently later or whatever. (And if any of you are worried, I'm only fucked up if I wanna have kids, which is unlikely given my economic status anyway, so it's not a big deal that I'm fucked up. I'll still live a long life unless I'm hit by a bus or something.)
Oh yeah - what I meant to say was that the random doctor gets killed by a random dude (who is a little handsome? So it's okay? No, that's not the way handsomest works. It's not okay for handsome people to murder, no matter how handsome they are.)
DEAN! Dean is calling Cas's voicemail - which is adorable, because Cas tells you to turn your voice into mail. But it's also concerning, because we haven't heard from Cas since he got taken back to Heaven, and we don't know what the heck they're doing with him there - and Sam and Dean are starting to get super concerned too.
Sam and Eileen are in the bunker too. EILEEN! I LOVE HER. She tells them all about how she tracked the demon dude and found him disposing of the dead doctor, and then she had an angel blade (I'm guessing Sam gave her one, because he's an awesome
Then back to Crowley and Lucifer...sigh. Crowley is trying to get Lucifer to tell his minions that he's an obediant slave now and Crowley is king, but of course Lucifer completely uses the opportunity to give the opposite message without (seemingly) Crowley knowing. Ugh. My notes just say "I hate this."
A step up from that storyline is Kelly and Dagon, who we join next. They're on the phone, until they aren't. Then Kelly's phone rings again and it's Sam doing a funny british-esque voice and I love it. He tells Kelly that the Doc wants to see her again and to come by the clinic at 5pm.
Sam and Eileen (!!) are joined by Mick and Rene. Rene starts in on his whole "graduated top of my class" speech and Eileen says "no one cares." And I love her. Mick has brought the Colt!! YAY!! Back it he hands of the Winchesters WHERE IT BELONGS!!!!!!!!!!!
While this is going on, Dean intercepts Kelly outside the clinic and takes her to the rendez-vous. Sam tells him when he arrives that there's still no word from Cas, and Dean is not impressed. Dean also tells Rene that no one cares about his social or academic standing.
Then they give the whole speech to Kelly again about it being Lucifer's kid and they just want to help. Then they prevent Rene from pulling his weapon and killing Kelly just as Dagon shows up and starts throwing them into things. Sam loses hold of the colt, but Eileen grabs it and moves to kill Dagon just as Rene is moving to do the same on the other side of her (only he'll be using useless normal bullets). Except, just as Eileen shoots, Dagon disappears and the bullet goes straight into Rene.
Mick then announces that apparently the "code" calls that whoever shots a Man of Letters has to then be killed. Uh, again, REALLY?! Even on accident? Stop killing people guys, geezus. Then they're all in a mexican standoff, or whatever that's called when you have multiple guns pointing at multiple people. But Sam talks everyone down, because that's his super power, and Mick doesn't kill Eileen, but my friend, at this point, was pretty much convinced that Mick knew he was going to die instead now.
Then we cut to Mary and Ketch, who are totally doing it...or at least, have done it. Ketch says that he "didn't see that coming." And then me and my friend had to snicker at the accidental Clone High reference "I didn't see that coming, and by that, I mean ME!" Ketch apparently, when he first saw Mary, assumed that he'd end up shooting her. Then Mary gives Dean Winchester's patented "Uh, not to make this awkward, but you DO know this was meaningly sex right?" which, you know, ALWAYS makes it awkward, but Ketch powers through with a good ol' "Of course! Ha! Feeling are for the week! Who has feelings?! Certainly not I, a cold-blooded British murderer!" Then Ketch is all like, "I'm so glad you chose work over family," and Mary is like "Oh my god, not everything is binary - I'm totally choosing both, you idiot!" But Ketch is like "SURE you are..." and he kinda has a point, because I don't think the boys even know where Mary is, nor did they seemingly call her when they were taking on Dagon, so there's something not quite family-oriented there.
Then we're back with Lucifer, who of course has gotten a demon to work with him to try to fix his vessel so that he'll be free. Only Crowley did the smart thing and killed the only demon that knew how to make or undo the spells affecting Lucifer's vessel - so, it's going to take some time for the new demon to figure it out. Oh joy, this storyline will therefore stretch on further and eventually become the main plot. I can't wait. Happy day. Ugh.
EILEEEN!!! Eileen makes everything better. Her and the boys go back to the Bunker, and Eileen is SUPER UPSET because she KILLED A DUDE BY ACCIDENT. And now I bet she feels bad about telling him that no one cares about his academic record... but alas, it is to late to pretend that it matters and act impressed. Sam signs to her that it was mistake and then gives her tender hugs... and I FALL IN LOVE WITH THIS SHIP EVEN MORE.
We interrupt my fantasies to return to Kelly and Dagon, where Dagon handcuffs Kelly to the bed and tell her the truth - the baby is going to be fine, but it's TOTALLY going to kill Kelly.
My Friend: "That will teach you to not get an abortion!"
Me: "Yeah, idiot!"
Then we laugh like the left-wing Canadians that we are.
In seriousness though, we know that Kelly had considered the idea that the pregnancy was going to kill her even before she met Dagon... and she still hadn't aborted it, so it's her decision. BUT, if the Nephilim DOES grow up to destroy humanity and not just Kelly, then everyone will regret it.... but who knows, maybe she'll just kill Kelly and then she'll become a waitress like the last Nephilim we met and everything will be okay. *shrug*
Where was I?
Oh yeah, Mick... poor Mick... Mick and Ketch are at the BMoL HQ, and Mick is like "why did you want to meet?" and Ketch is like "oh, it wasn't me who wanted to meet with you..." and basically it's time for Mick to die. Before we get to the actual murder part though, Dr. Hess comes in and announces that they've given up on Mick's plan and it's all obedience or death now - that Lady Bevel had the right idea. And basically this just tells just tells us that all this time Mick has been claiming that Lady Bevel was the rogue agent, when really it was Mick. Hess reiterates that Hunters are dogs that obey, not people who have opinions and might know better... and that Eileen will be found and killed for her actions "if found guilty" but then Mick is like "hunters are always found guilty." AND THEY BETTER NOT KILL EILEEN!! OFF SCREEN OR ON! I WILL BE VERY VERY ANGRY.
Mick is defiant... and, oh Mick, never be openly defient in an "obey or die" society. He tries to defend Sam and Dean and state that they DO know better, that they save more people by acting on their own morals than following some brutal code.
And then Ketch shots him in the head. And it's sad - because really, that's what happens with exposure to Sam and Dean - same thing happened to Cas too, only there's no God to bring Mick back (more than once.)
But, basically, this means that Ketch is our last chance for a mole inside the BMoL institution. We have to hope that the fact that he's totes fallen in luv with Mary will save us all.
Dean and Sam, meanwhile, are super concerned that they haven't heard from Cas. Also, Eileen has left to go back to Ireland for a bit (TOO CLOSE TO THE UK! Oh man, they better not hurt Eileen. I love her too much.) BUT, in good news, in the chaos following the shooting, Sam TOTALLY snagged the Colt back, and now it's back in Dean's hands, which Dean is pretty jazzed about - he even calls the gun "sweetheart" so you know it's love.
One final scene with Mick's dead body and Hess telling Ketch to exterminate the hunters. Yeah, methinks that might not as well as she thinks it will.
Promo for next week looks like a random MOTW, but who really knows!
As per usual, let me know what you think in comments! And remember, like me, if you hate something, also be sure to mention something you love (LIKE EILEEN)... and if you hate Eileen...this is not the comment section you're looking for.
ALSO, SOMEONE MAKE ME AN EILEEN ICON OR SOMETHING? Do people even make icons anymore? I need some SPN ladies icons - Sheriff's Donna and Jody, or Eileen, or Claire, or just PEOPLE. Mind you, if I move my shit to DW, maybe I don't have the icon choices over there for all this stuff. Blah, other topics for other days.