[Quick review of The Fifth Season]Review of the The Fifth Season: Really good book for strong characters, diversity, great female protags, and realistic relationships - but too many dead kids, and since it's only book one of The Broken Earth Series, it doesn't resolve and that's frustrating if you don't have time to read more than the one book.
Anyway, once again you get sober Alix, because I had to drive to book club, so no booze for me! But you still get rushed poor notes, so hopefully this will still be entertaining ...
THEN keeps us well informed.
6 months ago in Andover, MA.
Our teaser death is a woman getting killed in her home, from a ghost reaching up through her bed and crushing her insides. These are my notes:
Demon in the closet? Ghost? Scary everything? I hate suspense. Dude, you don't have to turn on the light to hand something up - just reach in until you hit the bar and hang that crap.
Ugh, seriously, the suspense is killing me. This is why I don't watch horror movies.
Whoa! That's an interesting death though! Never seen that before.
SAM! in the present day.
Dean tells us that they have no leads on Kelly and that they have "No idea when Lucifer's kid is going to pop, if it hasn't already." - which is interesting, because timeline-wise we know that it's been around the 8-9 month mark then since Lucifer jumped out of Vince, otherwise they wouldn't be confused as to whether the kid had been born. I guess they don't know how long it took from Lucifer to go from Vince to the President.
Dean thinks maybe Mary would want to join them on the ghost hunt, so then we cut to Mary.
She's using weird BMoL gadgets (I kinda prefer my old UKMoL name for them, but I realized last week that EVERYONE else in t-he fandom uses BMoL, so I figured I'd conform. You can pry Sassy from my cold dead hands though, there's no way I'll use Sastiel when Sassy
And she's with Mr. Ketch.
She answers Dean's call, but then lies to him - telling him that she's in a hotel recuperating from the whole Ramiel thing. (I thought she called him Rajiel for a moment there, but I'm too lazy to go back to check.) "Payperview magic fingers the usj." Awww, she's her son's mother. Also, she's lying to Dean - oh Mary, they really do come by it honestly. Awww, but she tells him that she loves him.
Then we cut to Crowley - with Lucifer. Ugh, just let him die show. I'm sorry guys, I know I'm supposed to only do positive reviews, but yarr...
Yeah, so, I really hate this Lucifer storyline and it's getting harder and harder to pretend I don't. Or, not that I was really pretending, but I was doing my best to see the positive side of the storyline and going along with the ride like *shrug* whatevs! But I gotta admit that it REALLY annoys me. I want them to get rid of him, because it completely rends Sam's sacrifice and suffering at the end of S5 pointless. Like, oh yay, Sam bought the earth 7 more years before some idiot brought Lucifer back and destroyed everything again. And the more times they have to defeat Lucifer, the more ridiculous it's going to be... and I just read a quote like YESTERDAY about this sort of thing, and how bringing your big bads back after you defeated them ON SCREEN completely undercuts the emotional impact of your hero's journey. YARRRRRRRRRRRRR.... (I'm a pirate today, to fit with the nautical theme to this episode!)
Anyway, to top off the fact that they brought back a villain that I want to STAY F*CKIN' DEAD - they have it be that CROWLEY was the one that mucked up Rowena's spell so that instead of going into the cage, Lucifer was instead sent back to his discared vessel from 9 YEARS AGO (7 by show's bad timekeeping) and undecomposed it and then MADE IT BETTER so that it could be a final home for Lucifer.
At least the writers f*cking KNOW they're idiots, because Lucifer TELLS US THAT CROWLEY'S AN IDIOT! YES YES HE IS!
Back to the Winchester's, because I gotta balance the negative with the positive, and I always love those Winchesters...
Dean knows Mary's lying! Sam doesn't think so. Oh man... things will come to a head sooner or later! (Turns out it's going to be sooner!) I like the fact that Dean's like "nope, I know Winchester lies, and she was telling me Winchester lies!" And actually, she was! She lies like Sam, I just realized... Sam always lies with this super like... breezy voice. "Why are you asking me these questions? Don't you know that life is fine and normal and full of fluffy bunny rabbits?" "We're standing in a fire, Sam" "Right right, I meant, you know, besides this fire... that I totally wasn't lying about." Anyway, so yeah, Mary continues to be an excellent mix of Sam and Dean.
Snow! They filmed this in December then. We were snowed in from around the 7th to... well, mid-January. It all just turned to ice and no one has snow tires in this city.... and the city has like, one friggin snow-plow. Despite being in Canada, Vancouver is actually a temperate rainforest, which a lot of people (who write J2 snowed-in fic) don't seem to realize. If precipitation can be rain, 9.9/10 it's going to be rain.
Someone is killing teachers. Just run dude!!
^That's me talking to the cub-scout leader dude. ("Timber Scouts") Like, seriously, if you're in a creepy bathroom at night and weird stuff is happening, just get the heck out of there. I'm thinking maybe men should also be forced to take those "how to avoid sexual assault" classes that they force girls to take in HS, while the boys learn... actually, WAIT, the boys did weight-training that week, and I never f*cking got to and I LOVE WEIGHT TRAINING. Oh my GOD, MY HIGHSCHOOL WAS SO SEXIST! I should do a bunch of weight training and then ask a guy for the time while he's walking alone at night, and then just haul off and punch him when he looks down at his phone or watch, and he won't ever see it coming, because he never took that class that told me never to look down at my phone/watch if some dude asked for the time. HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES!
Uh, I feel like I've gotten distracted. Let's go back to the notes...
Ghost!! Really cold ghost!
So, poor dude is dead.
Cut to the next day, Sam and Dean are checking out the museum. According to Sam, museums are notorious hot-spots for ghost activity. He calls them adhd ghosts though, I'm not sure what he means by that... like, do they get distracted by the exhibits? I feel like if I were a ghost and ended up tethered to a museum, I might lose focus from my revenge plot too, because I love museums.
Then we cut to Kelly, who is still preggos, and only like... 6 months tops? Unless that kid is small, Kelly's not about to pop anytime soon. Anyway, the waitress is an angel, which is why everything she says is way to punny for not knowing that Kelly is preggos with Lucifer's kiddo.
Back to the museum. We find out that the exhibit includes things from a ship called The Star, which sank in 1723. And that rings bells for Dean, because that was Gavin's ship! And it's hilarious, because I knew Gavin was going to be in this episode ahead of time, and I still forgot by the time I sat down to watch the episode.
Lucifer and Crowley - Lucifer continues to laugh at the plotline that I hate.
And Crowley doesn't know that the baby wasn't aborted. Like, did you really not follow up on that at all? Did Castiel never mention it when he was trying to get you to free Sam and Dean? Did you never clue in to the fact that if Sam and Dean were arrested, then aborting the baby fell to Cas, and Cas is NOTORIOUS for FAILING EPICALLY.
Actually...while we're on the subject - could Cas and/or the angels not just... like, touch her forehead and abort that sucker? Can they only heal by touch, not get uteruses to reject foetal implantation? (Can you tell that one of my jobs is working on a women's health app? Hahaha)
And then Dean calls Crowley and Crowley's talking about his business in the same room as Lucifer. So, now Lucifer knows Crowley has a kid, on top of everything else. Listen, I REALLY hope that Crowley had some sort of mind-game in mind when he took the call in the room, because IT JUST MAKES HIM LOOK LIKE AN IDIOT! And I HATE IT when formerly clever villains suddenly do idiotic things just for plot purposes.
Ugh... I'm starting to realize who probably wrote this episode. SIGH. (For those that need the reminder: My brain shuts off when there are words not-pretaining to time or location on the screen and I never ever read the credits.)
Back to more positive things... uh, well, not so much, because now there's another school group leaving the museum, this time with two female teachers. And then we see a locket get slipped into one of their pockets - so, whomever this ghost is, they're hitching a ride. I guess that's what they did to the teacher in Andover too... how did they get, OH, no, the locket was ADDED to the exhibit 6 months ago, which means it was probably donated after the teacher died. Intererting. I'm getting ahead of myself though...but hey, you just saw me work through a potential plothole in real-time, stream-of-consciousness style.
Cut to Rowena! Who the Winchester's have called in since Crowley won't help them out. They bribe her into helping them for the sole reason that they figure she'll want to meet her grandson. It's a dangerous game, but it works!
Meanwhile, Kelly's being stalked by angels. But she's rescued, by a yellow-eyed demon, which could only mean that this is Dagon. Dagon can apparently EXPLODE angels...like, she doesn't even had a weapon?! She just explodes them! Explodes isn't even an transitive verb, but I'm using it as one! Language evolution! (I keep wanting to use explodieren, but I don't even think that's a word in German... it's just fun to say. Language evolution in two languages!)
"Come with me if you want to live" - pretty badass though, too bad she's a baddy. But man, I'm loving this actress.
Dagon talks a good game! Seriously, my notes aren't lying. Dagon gives Kelly a speech about how Lucifer's not a bad dude, and angels are dicks, and you almost want to buy it even though you know Dagon's a nasty too and lying! This actress is amazing and really owns the part, like... she just commands attention, which is what you want in a villain. Couldn't we just have HER as the only big bad and leave Lucifer alone?! I'd be happy with that! Yellow-eyed demons are hard to kill unless you have magical weapons, and you can tie in the whole Colt business (as I'm sure they're going to) and you don't need any thing else! (Okay, sorry, I promise I'll stop ranting about it.) MY MAIN POINT IS THAT THIS ACTRESS IS GREAT!
Gavin! Gavin arrives by bus, and apparently the Winchesters pulled the ol' "your dad is dying" trick. I loved when they come clean and Gavin yells Help! to the guy walking by, like... I just love these tastes of how people are legit afraid of the Winchesters (for good reason).
They bring Gavin to the museum and at first he throws out a red herring, mentioning there was a teacher aboard the Star. Then he looks through the exhibit listing and finds a locket that belonged to his girlfriend Fiona Duncan. Then the sad story of how she begged him not to go, and probably smuggled herself on board thinking that he was trying to leave without saying goodbye. Sam and Dean agree that a broken-hearted woman who finds herself alone on a ship probably would end up being pretty pissed off and turn into a ghost. Gavin is pretty dismayed that the girl he loved is a ghost now. Then they go to find the locket, only to discover that it's missing.
Then we get a scene between Mary and Mr. Ketch out in the snow. And it's GORGEOUS. Geez, that's the thing with Snow, it really is beautiful, but if your city doesn't have the infrastructure for it, you end up shaking your fist at it, since you can't get anywhere or do anything.
Mr. Ketch telling Mary to "disengage" from her sons. Ugh. Sleezy.
^ So, yeah, Mr. Ketch is all like "you're beautiful when you hunt" and "hunting is where you belong" and "you need to disengage from your sons" and "the British Men of Letter's is all the family you need." or whatever... and the whole time he's doing the slowly-step-closer-until-he's-standing-t
The Winchesters find out that the last school group throught the Museum was from the Pembroke Day School for Girls.
Dudes, if it's a Day School, why're the teachers there so late at night? Like... do the TEACHER's live there? Maybe... maybe they do. Also, I totally ship these two teachers.
CREEPY STUFF. They're attacked by the ghost and one of them gets a hand through the chest and MOST LIKELY doesn't live... the other barricades herself in a room and the Winchesters rescue her all last minute like.
Then they have Gavin call to the ghost to confirm it's Fiona.
Yup! It's Fiona... and she was apparently found, ridiculed, and then raped by the crew, ugh. Oh, and the teacher that was onboard victim-blamed her... so, that's why she's getting revenge on all teachers.
After the Gavin and Fiona's chat, everyone sits down to figure out how to solve the situation. They're worried that burning the locket will just mean that Fiona will attach herself to other pieces of the Star at the exhibit... and really, REALLY, the best fix for EVERYTHING - including bringing her victims back to life - would be to send Gavin back to the 1700s so that he can die on the ship, and they can close this pesky time-loop, that they DO need to close before the end of the series, because otherwise Bobby's soul goes to hell (Gavin needs to be dead in order for Bobby to get out of the demon-deal he made at the end of S5, for those who might not remember.) Gavin agrees with this, because he knows he doesn't belong here, and also he'd prefer to spare Fiona the nightmare of her final days and years of ghosting. Also, he figures that they'll go to Heaven and then they'll have eternity together - aww, cute.
Crowley shows up to object! Rowena argues in favour of sending Gavin back though, saying that Gavin is "not like us - he believes in things." Which is kind of sweet, but Rowena must have some angle here.
Crowley argues that Gavin called him, so he must want to be saved - but no, Gavin called him to say goodbye. Crowley raises his hand to do something, but Rowena freezes him, and he can't follow through.
The Winchesters take Gavin back to the bunker and do the time-travel spell, tweaked by Rowena in order to send him back. Dean admits that it's "a tough one" because they know they're sending him to his death, even though he's a good guy and doesn't deserve it. But he goes... gotta close that loop! (Even though I'm sad to lose Theo Devaney, I met him at one of the VanCons and he was super nice...also, I think he lives in my neighbourhood?! Or used to, anyway.)
Mary comes back to the bunker! And she comes clean about what she's been up to!
Sam is not happy. Yay for Sam having reasonable emotions! Seriously, this is just excellent acting on Jared's part, I'm sure, but Sam's face here is just perfectly betrayed - and it's really the first time this season that you see Sam have emotions that have to do with HIS reaction to things and HIS emotional life. He's been really great this season about cloaking his emotional life in care for others - like, yes, he got teary at Mom, and that was awesome, but thereafter he was like Mr. Reasonable, Mr. The-Fact-That-Mom-Needs-Space-Is-Underst
Mary accuses Dean of giving her "the face" because DAMN RIGHT HE IS. And it's also great to see him give her the face on BEHALF of Sam, because you know that's what he's doing. And Sam even lists what they did to him... and like, yeah, how DO you work with the people who tortured your son? Though, they do claim it was their "rogue" agent - which is I'm sure what Mary tries to explain to them in the montage that follows...
But first, we cut to Rowena, waiting for a bus. Crowley shows up to ask her why she let her grandson go to his death. And she tells him that it was revenge for Crowley making her kill Oscar, the "son" she loved more than him. So, it was revenge. Now, of course, I'd argue (and I have - if you go back and read my rewatch S10 entries) that ROWENA is solely to blame for Oscar's death, as she sacrificed him for the power of the books and the potential power of the Darkness. But I get it... I mean, it's way easier to blame other people for our horrible short-comings than it is to blame ourselves.
I love this song! Hate this Lucifer plot line! And the Winchesters are mad at mum!
^This is a montage to that song Play With Fire, by the Rolling Stones.
Rarrrr... and Lucifer's in conversation with Dagon.
So, things are nicely set-up for whatever happens going forward, I guess! We've got 3 Sinister Bad Guys, just because 1 apparently isn't enough, even though they got away with only having 1 for MOST OF THE AWESOME SEASONS. But again...WHATEVER. Just because I don't like Lucifer, doesn't mean I get to complain about everything. I mean, I DO like Dagon so far... so that's awesome. So, yeah, that's my negative and postive. Negative=Lucifer, Postivie=Dagon and the actress who plays her.
Always remember when commenting folks! You've gotta do a positive for any negative, otherwise I FORCE YOU TO! Because I want us all to enjoy this journey, and we're not going to be able to do that if we're all complainy-pants all the time.
Next week's promo:[Spoiler (click to open)]RETURN OF ALPHA VAMP! OOO I LIKE HIM, and that's saying a bunch, because I REALLY HATE VAMPIRES. Looks like Mary convinces Sam and Dean to do a job with the BMoL - and my guess is that it won't go particularly well.
As per usual, let me know what you thought in comments - remember the negative/positive rule - and as always, forgive my spelling.