Let's just launch right into it, because it's already after 11 and I have work in the morning. As per usual, I've had wine, taken only extremely rough notes, and therefore all quotes are approximate.
The THEN catches us up nicely with the UKMoL and the fact that Mary and Billie exist - and only one of those things bode well.
We get Mary in a diner getting the call from Cas asking her to meet him at the bunker - it's the day that Sam and Dean were taken. This is important, as a LOT of time passes in this episode. (specifically, somewhere between 6 weeks 2 days and 10 hours and 2 months).
Then we jump to the secret service dudes debriefing with the history of the Winchesters - wanted by the FBI in 2007...(you know what, I have to pull up my timeline for this)...yup, that checks out, Henricksen first tracked them down on Jan 12, 2007. Then supposedly killed in Ankeny Iowa in 2011 in a police shoot-out - and YUP, that happened in the fall of 2011 (show years) when the Leviathan impersonated them. I can't actually remember how that episode ended, but I guess it was in a shootout! (looked it up, it was Dean and Sam killing the imposters while they were in police custody... thanks SuperWiki). So, nice using your own canon, show!
Sam and Dean get put into cells that look like Supernatural might have bought the set off of a sci-fi series.
We find out that the guy being told about Sam and Dean is some big shot anti-terrorist guy. The handsome (but evil) other guy is more a man of action and wants to take Sam and Dean out back and shoot them. But the anti-terrorist guy wants to interrogate/torture them first for information.
And so he goes to visit them. Both Sam and Dean are taking the stay-silent tactic... which is good, if you're going through standard legal process. But the anti-terrorist dude decides that the way he's going to torture them is solitary confinement. So, I KNOW that's torture, like, I know human beings a social animals and blah blah blah, but I still didn't think it'd be as bad as what they went through in Hell - so I figured, *shrug* they got this. And I guess we'll argue about that later...
Meanwhile, elsewhere, Mick Davies is writing a report back to UK HQ about his strides into making friends with American hunters. Apparently, it's not going well, as he recounts his encounter with a Hunter named Wally, who listened to his spiel about a world without monsters, and countered it with a go screw yourself, mr. softhands, I don't take orders.
Back at the Bunker, Mary is super upset that her boys are locked away and she blames Cas for leaving them behind, even though Dean told him too... then she's made that they didn't call her when they needed help, and Cas rightfully points out that she "was out." Which could mean all sorts of things - out of the house or out of hunting are two of the most important ones.
Dean, meanwhile, finds a loose bolt, and so begins to tally marks on the wall. Thanks Dean!
Cas consults Crowley, who can teleport for crissakes and also has demons in law enforcement. But Crowley doesn't know where the Winchesters are and nether do his demons. He also doesn't care that they're gone, because "Do you know how many all powerful beings have tried to kill [the Winchesters]?" "Roughly, yes." Crowley, in a great line, points out that all of them failed - and that he pities whomever has tried to imprison or kill them now. I like this, because yes, it benefits Crowley that the Winchesters are gone, yes, he's been one of the ones that tried to kill them in the past - but what he's really saying is that he has every confidence in their ability to save themselves.
As time passes, it's sad times for Mary without her boys. She hears a phone ringing in the bunker, and apparently Dean's phones have AMAZING BATTERY LIFE. Seriously, my phone only last three days if I don't use it at all. The phone call is from Alicia, one of the Canadian/American witches we met in the episode about Asa Fox... her and her brother are in Louisana and need help (so, I guess they're American? I'd think that Canadian hunters would largely stick with Canada and not go that far south, but who knows.) Mary offers to go help them.
Me and my friend were like "YES! GET THE WITCHES TO HELP YOU FIND SAM AND DEAN!" and I was like "THE VERY HOT WITCHES!" But nope. She just helps them with the hunt and that's it.
More time passes, and my friend pauses the PVR so that I can count Dean's tally marks, which are 5x8+2or3 (ie: 42-43 days).
Mary and Cas meet up in a bar somewhere. Mary forgives Cas and doesn't blame him anymore. Cas tells us, in a grand show of continuity, that Dean and Sam have been missing for "6 weeks 2 days and 10 hours" (ie: 45 days). All of Mary's law contacts are dead or retired, so she hasn't been able to find Dean and Sam. Cas, meanwhile, tried to go hunting - there was a vampire killing women - but he couldn't solve the case on his own, and he eventually "ran away" after three more women died and he still had no clue where the vampires were. Mary offers that her and Cas can hunt together, but Cas declines, completely demoralized and claiming that he'd only get in the way. :(
Then, an unknown amount of time later, we get a new scene, where the food guy comes to give Sam breakfast, only to find him dead. He tells handsome-supervisor that he tried CPR, but I doubt that, because Sam's in the exact same position he was in when the guy discovered him. They run to check on Dean and find him also deceased.
So, it's off to the autopsy room! Where handsome-supervisor tells us that the anti-terrorism guy has been giving them the silent treatment for the "last 2 months" (so, either he's rounding up, or it's been a further 1.5 weeks since the last scene with Mary and Cas.)
Back to Cas, who is now in the bunker, and Mary has called him to tell him about a "thing in Missouri" and I didn't note whether she was just going to check it out, or had wrapped it up, but either way, it still leaves Cas alone and sad, sitting in the dark in the Bunker.
Not to worry, Cas! Back in the secret government lair, Dean comes to, and so does Sam. They tackle the coronor and try to find out where they are, but he's brought in everyday blindfolded so he doesn't know. (You'd think he'd be able to tell them the state though?).
Dean takes his phone and calls Cas, while Sam figures out that they're in colorado based on a map he found in the glovebox of a truck - and also the mountain peaks. And yeah, that's pretty awesome. I'm sure the boys have driven through colorado enough to know their mountain peaks.
Then we get our foreshadowing that there's more going on than Sam and Dean knowing some sort of "kungfu trick to slow the heartbeat" - because Sam references the fact that Dean didn't tell Cas something, and that they're "on the clock." Which is why I wrote "Deal? LIfespan?" in my notes, and I turned out to be spot on, of course.
The coronor was put in one of the freezers, though it didn't appear to be on, because he looked fine when they rolled him out... also he's adorable, with his little "hey."
The anti-terrorism dudes put together their team of soldiers and big guns and run out into the woods.
Cas meets up with Mary and they discuss what they should do - Cas suggests getting Crowley and Rowena to help, but Mary is not keep on working with the King of Hell and his mother. So, Cas has another idea, which he for some reason doesn't run by Mary before inacting it, in one of my personal pet peeves about TV. "I may have another idea" "Oh? What is it?...Hello? Why have you just stopped speaking and are standing there looking ominous? Hello? What's the plan?" "Stop talking! We've faded to black! Don't you know how this works?! You don't get follow-up questions!"
Meanwhile, Sam and Dean are running through the woods, with Sam insisting that they need to "talk about this" - which again, pretty much spells out the fact that there's a huge price for the stunt they pulled off.
Cas has called for the help of the UKMoL - specifically Mick and Mr. Ketch. They know exactly where Sam and Dean would have been kept if they're in Colorado. Though they're surprised that Sam and Dean were arrested during the course of defeating Lucifer (though at least he appears defeated?!) - which just proves the point that the UKMoL have NO IDEA what they're dealing with when it comes to American/Winchester Hunting levels. I love the fact that they have the reaction they do though, because one problem with having a Winchester POV all the time is that you can forget how monumental going after the devil is, after you've done if the second time.)
The UKMoL offer to use a satellite to track Sam and Dean down in the woods.
Back in the woods though, the people chasing Sam and Dean have caught up - even though Sam and Dean were running and their pursuers were MAYBE at a brisk walk? But, as my friend's husband pointed out, they hadn't done cardio in 2 months, so maybe Sam and Dean had to stop and take a half-hour nap somewhere.
It's great though, because then we get to see badass Sam and Dean taking down a team of trained marines (or whatever). Dean also gets to use not one but TWO awesome references, when he says "what we have here is a failure to communicate" (cool hand luke) followed immediately by "we're not trapped out here with you, you're trapped out here with us" (altered form of the awesome line from The Watchmen.) I mean, these are two guys who took out SWAT members in SEASON 2, that was 12 years ago if you go by actual years passed and not show years - they'd have only gotten better by now.
Sam and Dean find an abandoned cabin and use it to make their stand. Both my friend and I were like "don't light a lamp, what are you dumb?" but then realized that luring them in was probably the plan. Also, when Sam took out the first aid kit - I realized that they definitely had a plan of some sort. Which, turned out to be that Dean sets a bear trap and Sam hides in the cellar. Sam shoots on guy in the legs, which is a pretty dangerous game if you're trying not to kill anyone. Dean is around back and takes out two guys and takes their guns. Sam takes out another guy inside, by shooting him somewhere and then handing him the first aid kit, which is just such a SAM reason of making sure he had it handy in the first place. Then handsome-supervisor gets himself beartrapped, but anti-terrorisn guy gets a gun on Dean, but then Sam gets a gun on him, and that's it, jig is up.
Sam does tell anti-terrorism guy the truth, but I've a feeling he just heard "wow, nope, these guys are just unhinged from reality." Then they walk away and get to throw out the cool response to "who are you?" with "we're the guys who saved the world."
Then it's touching reunion time!! WE GET SASSY HUG RIGHT OFF THE BAT! Like, no hesitation at all, Sam sees Cas and is just like HUG TIMEZ NAO! Dean follows it up though, while Sam hugs the heck out of his mum, then Dean also gets mum hugs.
Cas and Mary admit to letting the UKMoL help them with their "borrowed satellite." But then they find out that Sam and Dean left survivors, Mr. Ketch calls it "unprofessional" even though Dean argues that they're good soldiers just doing their jobs (which they are!)
We get in the car, and Dean and Sam find out that Mary's been hunting. Then the car dies, and both Sam and Dean take a long look at their mum and Cas, in a way where you KNOW that (at least Dean) is thinking he's looking at them for the last time... and one of them says "it's time."
And we find out that indeed, the deal was with Billie. She'd kill them and bring them back one last time, but it meant that at midnight one Winchester would die permanently.
Mary questions how Dean could possibly suggest such a deal. Dean tells her that solitary was worse than hell.... which I find hard to believe, but then, both Sam and Dean were tortured by torturers who delighted in the hands-on-approach, so, perhaps it really was the first time they'd faced the torture of solitary confinement... I STILL think that they should have been able to weather it, but perhaps I'm thinking about it backwards - where because you've been tortured before, you'd be able to resist it more... but in reality, it might be more that because you've been tortured before, you have extreme PTSD and really don't do so well with torture or confinement at all, even worse than before you were tortured. I mean, that's probably more realistic and less "action movie hero stereotype."
(Sidenote: Did you now that Canada has a HORRIBLE track record of using solitary confinement to the point of torture? The rule is that you're not supposed to leave someone in solitary for more than 15 days, but last year it was discovered that there was a prisoner in Ontario who had been in solitary for 4 years!! Just... you know, so you're aware that Canada isn't the lovely perfect place that Canadians like to pretend it is - we may be better than a lot of places (and looking better every day) but we have massive problems too. One of which is massive racism against First Nations... like, I sure wasn't surprised when I learned that the guy who had been in solitary for 4 years was First Nations.)
Anyway, Dean decided that he was already dead in solitary, so he might as well just be dead but have Sam free (or be free and have Sam dead?) I'm sure both of them thought that they'd sacrifice themselves for their brother. Instead, of course, it's Mary who offers, since she was dead once already and is/was having a hard time adjusting. So, she lifts a gun to her temple... I'm not sure why she's gotta shoot herself in the head infront of her sons though, can't Billie just touch her or something and have her go gently into that good night?
The shooting in the head doesn't come to pass though, since Cas kills Billie. Instead... and here's where I go on my rant about how you SHOULDN'T BE ABLE TO KILL REAPERS!!! RAR! Buuuuuuuuuuuuuut, I justified the last few reapers they killed with angel blades by the fact that they were "rogue reapers" and I decided that "rogue reapers" because they were "rogue" had lost the protection of Death, and therefore were mortal... now, since Death is either away/dead/weak (personally, I think at most he's weak, since YOU CAN'T KILL DEATH!), I'm assuming that all reapers have lost his protection, since he's effectively out of commission.
Of course, Billie had warned that cosmic things go wrong when you break a blood deal - so I think that's why Dean and Sam are both like "Cas! What the hell!" But Cas is all like, "THE WORLD NEEDS YOU AND YOU MEAN TOO MUCH TO ME!!!!" Which is basically just Cas speak for "I LOVE YOU GUYS, YOU COMPLETE IDIOTS!!!" Awww, so sweet. <3
Then we cut back to Mick, who is giving a report on what went down... and indeed, Mr. Ketch went in and killed the entire Colorado complex, including the adorable Coronor, which makes me super sad... because he was the CUTEST, YOU GUYS! So sad... then he says that on the plus side, he's finally gotten a Hunter to express interest in what he's offering...and we find out that that hunter is... MARY.
So, all in all, a pretty good episode! I was super like, not enthused beforehand... mainly because I've been a little unenthused about all media in general lately... but I was pleasently surprised. We got smart badass Winchesters, Dean had cool hair, adorable side-characters, and a lot of love between the characters. And yeah, I'm sad that Billie is dead, because I loved her - Lisa Berry was SO GOOD in that roll... but, well, whatever.
Also, my friend who hates law-enforcement storylines is happy, because although we're unhappy with his methods, Mr. Ketch has ensured that we're not going to have law enforcement on the Winchester's tail for the rest of the season.
It'll be interesting to see where it goes... I figure the shits gonna hit the fan eventually with the fact that Mr. Ketch is undoing all their merciful acts... and also the fact that the UKMoL may have tons of gadgets but they are SO out of their depth when it comes to the scope of what the Winchesters have to deal with on a day to day basis.
Anyway, tell me what you thought in comments!! Also, forgive spelling mistakes, I do not have a spellchecker.