Okay, so for all my talks of watching it on the EST livestream earlier - I actually totally forgot it was on and got distracted with visiting my mum... so, yeah, I then had to wait for it to download on my mum's slightly crappy internet connection... this is all to say that I haven't been drinking, but I'm exhausted, because it's 1am here. So, same difference?!
But seriously, who cares about my life when there's this awesome episode to talk about!!! Let's get to it...
Oh man... I just... I'm going to be writing about this episode for at least an hour, so strap in, I guess?!
We begin with Metatron and a dog - Metatron is still homeless and dumpster-diving for food, and he actually gives up his first find to the dog...which, well, who know Metatron has a bit of tenderheartedness left in him? But, man, I was not prepared for how far that would go... I'll rave about Robbie's choices about that later, probably... but yeah, I love Metatron as a more nuanced character than we've seen him in S9/S10.
Metatron gets frustrated trying to find food and yells "I give up!" and then suddenly finds himself in a bar - and not just any bar, as we discover... GOD'S BAR. But Metatron doesn't know that yet...
Metatron thinks that it's actually Carver Edlund (and interesting that he calls him by his pen name rather than his real name - the angels know all the prophets' names, so it makes me wonder if they knew him as Chuck or Carver.
Anyway, the hilarious thing here is of course that not even the angels knew Chuck was God - and Metatron just starts right in on putting down his work as hacky and melodramatic, etc. I love Chuck's response to this too, and I love it even more when you realize that Chuck didn't remember that Metatron couldn't "see" him and didn't know he was God straight away. (If we take him at his word, anyway.)
I also love Chuck saying that Supernatural was "due for a reboot" - dude, it has to end before you can reboot it!!
Metatron sees the light (literally) and gets down on his knees - but God is having known of that and tells him to just call him "Chuck" - which, Metatron is less than impressed by - but really, Metatron went by Marv - it must run in the family. :P
Then we get to see Dean and Sam - but first, Dean is ironing! Yay domesticity! He's ironing with beer! (wouldn't that stain? - I am not going to try at home to find out, so someone else will have to.) Sam comes in with a potential soulless-case in Idaho and then it's off to Idaho! But first we find out that Dean was ironing Sam's shirt... awww.
Back to Chuck - who tells us - and here the audience is actually represented by Metatron, which is an interesting turn! - that he's been traveling, he started a blog, where he mostly posts cat pictures because they're so cute.... and he started a new series called Revolution but he doesn't think it's going anywhere (*snerk*). Metatron wonders if maybe titles just aren't Chuck's thing - Chuck doesn't argue. :P
Metatron wonders why God is Chuck - and Chuck says that he likes having a front row seat on the action, and also that acting is fun!
(Sidenote here: DAMN Rob Benedict is looking really good these days... like... he'll say it later, but he is SUPER CUTE.)
Metatron asks why the amulet didn't work, if he was God the whole time - again, Metatron is doing an amazing job of being the audience/us - Chuck, of course, uses the same excuse that I've headcanoned ever since it was confirmed canon that Chuck was God - ie: He's God, so he had the power to "turn it off".
Of course, while he explains this, he actually holds it up! Then he teases us by saying he should put it back - and that we'll never guess where it's been this entire time. And we MIGHT get our answer later!!! (I say might, because it all depends on the word "back" in that sentence and whether or not Chuck actually did that.)
Metatron then asks if God is there to destroy him, what because of all the evil he's done. Chuck doesn't answer, instead he sililoquies a bit about humanity's greatest creation - music! (and also nacho cheese)... music is magic...and... something something about it lead God to decide to write his autobiography - only, he needs an editor. Hence, this is where Metatron comes in.
I love when Metatron asks if this means God's going to make him an angel again, and God/Chuck is like "no, that's never going to happen." So, that's all she wrote for ANGEL Metatron.
(Also, sorry if I keep switching between God and Chuck as names - I was going to just use Chuck the whole way through, but I keep messing up, so I'll just use them interchangably unless they aren't interchangable in contest. )
Back with Sam and Dean! They're working the case! Sam sees autopsy photos of the victim and realizes that it's the Darkness!Infection - oh no!!
Meanwhile, Metatron has read the notes, and can't hide the fact that he thinks it's horrible. Chuck can tell by the look on his face, because it's the same look his last editor gave him when he handed in Bugs (*snerk* - poor Bugs/Kripke). Metatron points out that there is a glaring lack of detail - like the fact that God wasn't alone in the beginning. God does NOT TAKE KINDLY TO THIS REMINDER.
Then suddenly we're back on earth with Deputy Harris - and OH NO! THE FOG! HER CUTE FIANCE IS IN DANGER! Noooooooooooo!!! (is literally what my notes say)
Metatron tries to give God writing advice - God has gone on way too much about his time as Chuck, when the more interesting stuff is the God stuff. Chuck takes offence - he's had a lot of fun being Chuck and done a lot! He has a blog! He's dated - both girlfriend AND boyfriends (and I squeed - because I may be an atheist, and this God may be even more fictional than "actual" God, but having a God with the same sexuality as me still meant a heck of a lot.)
Metatron says that currently the autobiography makes God sound like a grounded likable person - but the problem is he's neither grounded NOR a person. "So you do admit I'm likable?" (Hahahaha)
Metatron wants the juicy stuff - he wants the details about the archangels, whom God hasn't talked about AT ALL, not even Lucifer, who was his favourite. Chuck denies that Lucifer was his favourite.... which I find very interesting...he's either lying because he's still mad about the rebellion thing, or he's telling the truth and my secret headcanon might be confirmed... we'll see?
There are two types of memoir - truth and fairytale... for there to be truth, there needs to be revelations and soul-bearing. God points out tha he doesn't have a soul - Metatron points out that God INVENTED souls, so that shouldn't matter. He then accusses God of "hiding" in Chuck - instead of being the badass that Metatron knows he is. The badass who has a lot to answer for. He has to hold up a mirror and see his true self - basically write for himself.
Sam and Dean having been woken up early in the morning to come out to the Deputy's house, where she has indeed killed her cute fiance and then taken off in her vehicle. Sad times.
Back in God's bar, Chuck is working on his second draft - this time, Metatron is loving it. It's "angry with a side of bitter". Since they're getting along, Metatron asks God why he created life in the first place. God says that he was lonely. Metatron brings up his sister again - but God points out that he's "being" and she's "nothingness".
So, my headcanon that SPN was a dualistic universe was technically correct, only instead of God and Death, it's God and "Darkness" - I kinda like Death better, but fair enough, given that you can't have Death without Life, but you CAN (theoretically) have Life without Death - so it makes more sense for God/Life's equal to be Darkness/Nothingness. Also, since God=Light in most monothiest mythologies, the opposite really would be Dark.
God wanted to show the Darkness "something better than us" - but every time he tried to create, she would destory his creations. So he locked her away so that his creations could live. He believes that nature is his greatest creation, because it creates on it's own - and it also wipes the slate clean on it's own when something goes wrong. Metatron realizes that the Darkness is dangerous because she doesn't wipe the slate clean, she DESTROYS the slate.
Meanwhile, back with Sam and Dean, the fog is rolling into town. The deputy pulls up - heavily infected with the Darkness - with a message for Dean - the Darkness is showing people the truth, that the light is a lie... and "he's not going to save them" and "it'll all be gone forever" but "not you, Dean." AND JEEEEEEEEZ... what fate is worse for Dean than being the sole survivor of ALL OF CREATION!?! I would argue NONE. That's a horrifying concept and Dean must be terrified.
Back with God and Metatron - God goes on to say that where nature is perfect, HUMAN-nature is toxic. Humans are constantly killing people in his name, and then praying to him as though he's responsible. God argues that he took responsibility by leaving - that no one likes a helicopter parent. He's kind of pissed at Sam and Dean, because he loved them, but the world would still be okay with Demon!Dean on it, but since Sam couldn't live with that, the Darkness is now going to destory everything, and that's on Sam and Dean (... I don't know about that, I guess Demon!Dean might have been a case of wiping the slate clean, but he's still murder the world again and again and again...)
God mentions how many times he's helped them - saved them, rebulit Cas more times than he can remember (love it - mainly that God basically "gifted" the Winchesters and angel...whether he helps or hinders).
Metatron accuses him of hiding - that's he's hiding in the pathetic Chuck-disguise. Chuck argues that he's SUPER CUTE. (And he is correct!)
Metatron realizes that they're in the safest place ever created (the bar) because God is hiding there for it all to be over. Metatron pulls out the big guns then and says that while Metatron migh have been a crappy replacement for God, at least Metatron wasn't a COWARD.
Much like Marty McFly, God does not take kindly to being called a coward.
Metatron gets flinged through a door. He's thrilled that he's illicited God's wrath, because that might get God fired up about NOT being a coward. God, though, is just mad at Metatron and digs his thumbs in where it hurts - mainly that the only reason God chose Metatron as his scribe was because he was the closes angel to the door when God walked into the room.
God says he's not hiding, he's just done watching humanities failures. Metatron posits that it's not humanities failures - but rather his own.
Meanwhile, back in Idaho, Sam rescues a baby and it's the CUTEST - but for how long are they going to be rescued?! The fog rolls through town, taking everyone in it's path... Sam and Dean try to barricade a few survivors in the Sheriff's station - but it's sort of hard to make a reliable air-tight seal against semi-sentient fog with 3 seconds notice.
Sam soon gets infected, much to Dean's dismay. Dean hasn't changed that much from Croatoan and refuses to leave Sam - he barricades the survivors in another room and stays with Sam in the fog filled one.
Back with God, Metatron makes a last ditch effort to get through to God...when God asks Metatron why he tried to be God, Metatron admits that it was a cry for attention - attention from God. That even if Metatron was just the closest one to the door (and MAN, Curtis Armstrong is so good here, because you can see how God has crushed him by removing the belief that he may have been special in some way, trusted by God for reasons other than convenience)... that Metatron still got to sit in God's light and warmth, and then was abandoned, and left bereft.
God tells him that he left him (and humanity) because he was disappointed.
Metatron argues then on humanities behalf - that they are God's greatest creation because they're better than he is (which, is exactly what God wanted to show Amara). And they're better than he is because they never give up.
Speaking of never giving up, Sam is quickly dying of the fog and yet he is still trying to seal windows and save people. He collapses and immediately talks about how pointless it all is, and it's clear he's lost all hope - and MAN, it's so jarring to hear Sam talk like that - you really do realize that 9/10 times Sam is the optimist of the show.
What's even more heartwrenching than Sam being pessimistic is that Dean PURPOSEFULLY BREATHS IN - but he can't get infected! So he yells up at the heavens to "STOP THIS - YOU HEAR ME YOU DICK!" and I gotta think he's talking to God there, not Amara, or else he wouldn't have used a male-coded insult.
Then of course, just in case my heart wasn't broken enough - Dean starts telling a dying Sam that he's "right here" - again, not atypical behaviour and very in keeping with the "I'm not going to leave you" of Swan Song. Oh man, my heart.
Back at God's bar - he starts monologing to Metatron, who is not interested because HE'S disappointed in GOD. Chuck tells him how he lied about learning guitar - he actually just gave himself the ability, same as French... and then he encourages Metatron to read the new pages, while he starts to sing "Dink's Song (Fare Thee Well)" (which I looked up after the fact, because I'm not up on my centuries-old American folk songs apparently!
Metatron has such a look on his face - and again, with the choice of chorus of "fare thee well" - I was really concerned that whatever God was planning, it might be the destruction of himself (...and I mean, I could still be right?! Who knows!)
But the point is, back with Sam and Dean - Sam's pocket starts to glow, and then IT'S THE AMULET! IN SAM'S POCKET?!?! So, if God put it "back" - does that mean that it's been in Sam's pocke the whole time?! Or did God not put it "back" but instead plant it in the pocket?! Oh man... we'll probably never know, but I don't care.
The amulet is burning brightly, and everyone is miraculously okay!! Sam and Dean, dumbfounded, wander out into the street to see that the deputy is back alive and so is her fiance! And not only that, but there's Chuck, helping people up off the pavement. He turns around and sees them and says "We should probably talk"
And oh man, am I ever interested in the next 3 episodes!!!
Next week I'll still be in Ontario, but hopefully I'll remember to watch it on EST - mainly because it's NEARLY 3AM! Oh man... It's a good thing I'm still half-on Vancouver time. :P
As per usual, let me know what you thought in comments! Please forgive memory lapses and spelling mistakes!