Alright, standard rules apply - positivity, only seen the episode once, been drinking, etc, etc...
Let's do this thing...
Oh my dog, I think this is the first episode this year since the first three that I can actually put a date on. I would like to thank the writers, and Jermey Carver who accepted the pitch, for throwing me this very very small bone. I will treasure it always.
I think it's kinda telling and hilarious that the only time I yelled "GROSS!" during this episode was when the babysitter kissed the husband. I am really really not a fan of older adults kissing teenagers. Anyway, gross cheating husband is gross... SO GROSS. And I briefly wondered if the babysitter was evil, but nope. I also didn't understand why they were zooming in on the teddybear, because I didn't clue in that it was a nanny-cam. Luckily my friend did and said something out loud, because I was like "Is the Teddy Bear evil? Why is this important?"
Then we get to Sam and Dean zu hause. Dean is hungover like mad - and I love Dean's hungover shuffle around the kitchen, where you can tell he's doing that thing where he's trying to keep his head as still as possible and his torso straight so that his head doesn't pound and he doesn't get nausated (again/more). We've all been there.
It's the day after Valentine's day... I wonder how the heck Dean even got home the night before? Walk? They live in the middle of nowhere outside of Lebanon, KS. I mean, really... maybe KS has the same problem with drunk people having no other way to get home besides driving just like rural ontario does. I doubt Lebanon, KS, has uber...or even a taxi company.
Anyway, while Dean was out living it up in the city, Sam was researching...or, at least, he was that morning... Sam never actually answers the question of what he did the night before besides that he wasn't watching Fifty Shades of Grey. I think it'd be hilarious if at the end of season we find out that Sam had some sort of steady lover the whole time, and he's like "What do you mean you don't know who this is?! THEY'VE BEEN HERE ALL YEAR!" and then we see flashbacks to things like Valentine's day, with Dean out drinking and Sam having a romantic evening in... oh man... I want it to happen now.
So, Sam's found the missing-heart teenager, no doubt reported that very morning - Dean thinks it might be an ironic werewolf, which I'm all for... but we all know it's never their first guess.
So, after Dean showers, it's off to Hudson, Ohio, which is a 15 hour drive, so I'm going to guess they spend a whole day driving and didn't speak to the family until February 16th... otherwise there's no way they would have arrived when the dude still had a working day to complete. Sorry, this is timeline stuff... I'm just multitasking.
The baby's name is Tegan and they use a feminine pronoun, btw - and this led my friends and I to have a discussion about the gender of the name Teagan/Tegan/Teegan/Whatever... because I swear I grew up about five doors down from a male Tegan. But then my friend's pointed out that there was Tegan and Sarah, who are both of the lady-variety of humans. So, we decided that the name must be unisex, then we realized that the babysitters name was Stacy, which is also a unisex name... and then we decided that obviously the monster only strikes households with unisex names! Much like the Winchesters, our first guess was also wrong. :P
Dean right away picks up on the fact that the husband was having sex with the babysitter. Then we get confirmation that, indeed, the teddy bear was a nannycam... and we realize that of course the husband would take it to hide the evidence of the kiss.
Then Sam and Dean step outside and we find out that Sam picked up on the husband sleeping with the babysitter too! Or at least, he realized that he was being shifty. I love when Sam and Dean are good at their jobs.
So, they split up and Sam goes to the morgue - where nothing much interesting happens. And Dean goes to visit Husband-Dan at the office. Where Dan comes clean about taking the nanny cam and he even shows Dean the footage. We briefly debated whether this was smart or stupid of him, but then realized that he really did have an airtight alibi.
Dean takes the SD card to Sammykins. and they figure that they must be dealing with a shifter - though, shifters don't normally take hearts, so it's still super weird!
Back at Dan's office, his coworker leavs and at first I thought she might be the next victim, but then someone gets off the elevator and I could tell by the skinnyness of the shoulder and the leg that it was the babysitter.... and then it's Dan who gets killed. Awww, poor gross dude.
But don't worry, dead guy, Sam and Dean are BACK ON THE CASE. They find out that the wife knew about the babysitter - then they test her to see if she's a shifter by handing her a silver pen. Clever!
Sam and Dean take off and decide to split up once again - Sam's going to do research, and Dean's going to see if he can get laid on February 17th too.
Meanwhile, the wife is up to something! She's got a weird hex box! She's calling someone! She's treating dried herbs like weed! Who knows what's happening! Then her dead husband shows up and doesn't even knock on the door like a normal person! I mean, geez, if you're going to murder someone, at least lull them into thinking you MIGHT be human by knocking on the door like a human would. But nope... then we all yelled at the TV as the wife made no move to run away or call someone or anything, until dead-Dan got into the house.. THEN she fell over... but then we all had to bite our tongues as she did a far better job of defending herself and running away than Dan did. Though, she was obviously not as taken off guard (and far more suspicious) than Dan had been.
So, wife runs to Sam and Dean's motel - where Dean has returned after stricking out at the bar (and really? I find that hard to believe - but then it IS a random wednesday in February, I suppose.) She comes clean about buying a love-spell from her hairdresser. Her hairdresser called herself a white-witch, but Sam and Dean really hate witches you guys. The spell is sealed with a kiss. She shoes it to them, and Sam finds out that it's not a love spell but a kiss of death spell... and then they work out that it must spread by kissing an the kills work their way backwards through the chain to get to the source.
So, this is all well and good, but then dead-Dan attacks, and bullets do nothing... so Dean kisses Melissa (HA! I DID write down the wife's name eventually in my notes) and this both tests their hypothesis AND (since the hypothesis turns out to be true) it buys them a little extra time to save Melissa as the monster is now focused on killing Dean.
Sam is kinda mad about it though - he doesn't want Dean to treat himself like a guinea pig or a martyr or whatever. I mean, yeah, I get Sam's point, but I'm PRETTY sure he's being a little hypocritical, as Sam has also treated himself or Dean as a guinea pig in similar "tight spot" situations - like Route 666 and It's the Great Pumpkin Sam Winchester...though, I suppose in those cases, Sam was testing ways to kill the monster, rather than redirecting a monster to kill Dean (or himself) instead of a civilian. Though, even in that event, Sam is pretty much KNOWN for standing between monsters and civilians in situtations where the monster would have to go through Sam to get to them - Dean's just doing it in a more guaranteed to be killed first sort of way.
I'm not going to lie, the whole time they're having this conversation - I was sitting there thinking "you know, a good way to get back at Dean for that stunt would be to kiss him, Sam... come on... kiss him...." and then me and my friend started wondering what the monster would do if they just kissed back and forth... like, who would actually be at the end of the murder chain if they just made out for a really long time...
Anyway,they've run away when they have this conversation, obviously... and then Melissa sees the trunk of weapons and they have to do the Hunter reveal. She takes them to the hair salon - called "The Art of Dyeing" - hilarious - and they go on a witch hunt. They leave the wife in the car with a knife to defend herself - probably not the BEST plan, but I could see that it was the best one they had at the moment, and it DOES pan out well for Sam.
I like the fact that when Sam says he's loaded his gun with "witch killing bullets", Dean comes back with "we gotta find a better name for those" - please do, Dean, I love it when you name things. It's why I have a house-plant named Jefferson.
The monster, as it turns out, is a Qareem... who appears as your deepest desire and then steals your heart, because it doesn't have one. It's controled by whoever DOES have it's heart.
Dean says that he looks forward to it finding him, because his deepest desire is Daisy Duke - who he's had a crush on since he was 7. Sam asks whether he means the original Daisy or Jessica Simpson who played her in the more recent movie... I mean, obviously, Sam shouldn't need to ask that, because Dean's already said that the crush began in the '86... so, original for sure. But, granted, it might be the character not the actress. I never watched the Dukes of Hazzard.. though we had the dinky car from the show when I was a kid and played with it all the time (had absolutely no knowledge of what the flag on top meant, since we were raised by wolves in the vast Canadian wilderness, as is tradition.)
So, the boys have to split up to go find the heart. AND DEAN WINS AT ROCK PAPER SCISSORS! Surely, this is the first sign of the apocalypse part deux. They both do rock. Sam is shocked. They both do scissors, which is an interesting choice on Sam's part and a risky move by Dean, and then Sam does Rock again, pershaps thinking that now that Dean has remembered Scissors, he will once again return to it.... but no! Dean does Paper! Meaning that Dean didn't just deviate from scissors, he cycled through ALL OPTIONS. I don't know what this means, you guys! Up is down, black is white.
Anyway, Sam has to go upstairs, because apparently that's what losing means - the loser DOESN'T have to stay in the creepy basement. Weird.
Sam finds the heart, but before he can do anything about it, he is SET UPON BY A WITCH.
Meanwhile, the monster finds Dean, and takes the form of Amara - which, yeah, I saw that coming a mile away.... but I do look forward to seeing (though not reading) the many shipper AU fics where the monster takes the form of Cas and/or Sam. I think it'd have been a cool twist if the monster went after Sam and we got to see Sam's greatest desire. I mean, think about it, there really aren't even shipper options for that! (besides Dean, but the show's never going to go Wincest) Personally, I kinda want Sam to hook up with Eileen from a couple week's ago - I liked them together. Though, it's pretty heteronormative for the most vague Winchester when it comes to sexual preference (at least spoken/implied - though personally Sam doesn't pig my gaydar at all - even with his frequent use of neutral pronouns and open mind)
I'm so off track.
Sam's trapped with the witch instead of exploring his lack of love life or inner fantasy world. The witch is explaining how she's punishing cheating men. Sam has this line about how she's "almost a feminist" and I just cringed because I know certain fans are going to get angry about that line - but I mean, he was being sarcastic! Sigh. Anyway... the witch is just evil, because she also wants to punish the women for wanting to stay with their cheating husbands - dude, harsh, you don't know their lives! Not everyone can afford to leave their spouses and sometimes you CAN actually recover from infidelity... geez...
Meanwhile, in the basement, Fake!Amara is going on about how she can see inside Dean's heart and it's full of love cloaked in shame... and again, I thought of the destiel shippers having a field-day with that line taken out of context... but a larger part of me was like "MAYBE HE'S ASHAMED THAT HE'S BEING COERCED!" Jeez... this whole episode is full of gross sexual situations.
Dean's cool though, because he admits that the real Amara does have some sort of hold over him, but that the Qareem doesn't...so sucks to be the monster, because he can actually fight back!
Upstairs, Sam is getting force-choked. Luckily, Melissa comes to the rescue! She doesn't stab the witch, but she distracts her long enough for Sam to escape her hold and shoot her himself. Yay! Sam stabs the heart and kills the Qareem just before it kills Dean, yay!
He then bounds downstairs and tells Dean that he took care of everything, and asks if Dean's cool. And Dean's like "yup, awesome! Nothing to see here" but meanwhile the basement is full of holes punched in pretty much every surface.
As they pack up their motel room the next morning, Sam asks if it was original Daisy or Jessica Simpson - and Dean just comes clean about EVERYTHING Amara related. Just... BRAVO DEAN! I wonder if that beats Dean's previous record of secret keeping... probably doesn't count, since I think it took Dean until the last meeting to realize the extent to which Amara controlled him.
Still, honesty is the best.
Sam isn't even surprised - and he's also awesome. He doesn't think Dean is complicit in it, weak, or evil. Sam knows that it's God's sister and that Dean is being controlled and has no choice. I mean, seriously, I "awww"ed because Sam is so understanding. Dean's experience only reinforce Sam's conclusions, because he says that when he's away from Amara, all he wants to do is kill her, but as soon as he's near her, he can't... but he balks at the idea of it being called "desire or love" because it's not that. But, Dean basically comes clean with Sam that he doesn't think he can kill her, and he apologizes for with an "sorry to do that to you" because he KNOWS that what he's saying is "you're the only one that can do this - possibly completely without my help" and I love Sam's response of "I got it, Dean" because it's just... great.
Anyway good MOTW episode. I also like how they just left a wad of cash under the cinderblock next to the broken window. Classy guests for a classy motel. :P
As per usual, let me know what you guys thought in comments! :)