Hell's Half Acre (hells_half_acre) wrote,
Hell's Half Acre

VanCon2015: Saturday - Part 2

Saturday continues....

Richad Speight Jr., Rob Benedict, and Matt Cohen

Okay, this is another case where the panel is pretty much all witty banter and it's very hard to capture witty banter in my notes, or report what is essentially stand-up/improv comedy. However, I will do my best!

These three are hilarious. I was in TEARS at one point. But we'll get to that...

They started by carrying on the gag about Rob kidnapping Matt last night.

Matt is actually on How to Get Away with Murder for a little multi-episode arc. He can't give any details.

They made fun of the set on stage - dead tree and spanish moss. Spanish moss being, of course, native to Vancouver (it's not). You get off the plane, and they're like, "welcome to Canada, here's your maple syrup and a jar of spanish moss."

Richard talked about the disgusted look that Ruth gave him yesterday when he told her that she really "buttered his muffin" - this from the woman who convinced the produces of SPN to let her say "fanny" on the show, knowing full well what the word means in the UK.
- Matt wondered if maybe Ruth was just objecting to the fact that the muffin wasn't organic. "I can almond butter your free-range-egg-made muffin"

They talked about how Matt looked like John Stamos (that might have been an audience member's comment) and how they had talked about it before and decided that if they were full house characters, then Matt was John Stamos, Richard was (the guy I forget), which left Rob being Bob Saget.

If they were a tree what tree would they be?
Rob - Spanish moss
Richard - Dogwood
Matt - General Sherman.
- Richard and Rob wanted to know what the hell kinda tree was that. Matt explained that it was the largest tree by volume in the US.
- Rob thought it sounded like a strain of pot.
- Richard was offended because as far as Richard knew General Sherman was a guy who cut a path of destruction across the southern US.
Rob: "You really have a bee in your bonnet about that."
Richard: "That's why I'm not wearing it. There's a bee in it."

Best pick-up lines?
- Richard has one about Tennessee that he likes, which he can say, because he's from Tennesse. The best pick-up line in Tennessee is "hey, nice tooth!"
- Rob acted out his best pick-up line, which was to walk up to a girl, stutter out a few half-formed sentences, and then say "forget it" and beat a hasty retreat.
- Matt's favourite pick-up line was one that he completely messed up when he tried to make his wife laugh by using it. It's supposed to be "Have any raisins? How about a date?" But instead Matt said, "Have any prunes?"

Richard than launched into a story of how he had met this attractive woman on a plane. Him and Rob were always complaining because they never sat beside attractive people on planes, and then one time when Richard was traveling on his own, a really attractive girl sat down next to him. So, he texted Rob and told him. Then Rob texted back "pics or it didn't happen!" And so Richard told the girl about it all, and asked if she'd take a selfie with him. He then proceeded to take a series of of selfies throughout the entire flight of him and the attractive girl having the time of their lives.
-Rob was sending back texts the whole time saying stuff like "Did you tell her about how you're married? Show her pictures of your kids?"
-Richard laughed and said that the girl probably left the plane and told her friends how he she "met this sweet old man, and he and his gay lover bickered over text the entire flight..."
- Rob agreed that they do bicker like an old married couple.

If there was an episode with your three characters, what would happen on it?
- Matt thinks it would have to be Gabriel, Michael, and God.
- Richard said that if they got Mark Pelligrino it would be My 3 Sons.
- Rob said he, for some reason, pictured them all going on a road-trip to Vegas in a convertable.
- Matt said that if that were the case, Lucifer would be on the hood the whole time throwing the devil horns.
- Richard said Pelligrino would be like the guitar player in Mad Max: Fury Road.

The next questioner start out by saying, "Okay, you know how you guys are called R2M, and then there's J2-"
- Matt - R2M2J2 - It's what we call it when we have an orgy.

What the questioner was actually asking though was what would happen if J2M was pitted in a challenge against R2M, who would win and what would they play as a challenge?
- Richard said they would play scrabble, because Ackles doesn't use verbs. "That's not a word."
- After a bit of discussion, it was decided that they would play charades and theatre games. Then Richard did his Jensen impersonation and it was hilarious.

Can they do impressions of each other?
- Matt said that Richard told him he wasn't interesting enough to imitate.
Richard: "I didn't say that! I tweeted it."
- Richard then went on to say that Matt's the friend you want in the foxhole with you, because whenever you have the slightest problem, Matt's got your back, he's charging across the room ready to fight whoever has wronged you, declaring "I'll handle this! I'm from Miami!"
- Matt said that he gets super protective over the guys and he gets so mad when things happen to them, but he's never there for it. Some day, he will be there and he'll "go all Michael on someone's ass."
- Richard and Matt both agreed that Rob did a great impression of himself when he answered the pick-up line question.

The next question was about Karaoke songs, I think, but it turned int a question about whether the guys liked the song Praying By The Dashboard Lights.
- None of them are fans. Mainly because Meatloaf isn't sexy.

How would they interact in an episode as God, an angel, and a human?
Matt: "Oooh... shit just got real!"
Rob: "What was the question?"
Richard: "What's our spirit animal - An otter."
Rob: "Ice Age squirrel"
Matt: "Geoduck"
- This then led into a discussion about the Goeduck. An audience member had a t-shirt with one on.

Most disgusting thing you've ever eaten?
Richard: "This could go a lot of ways, gentlemen."
- Richard answered that he once ate an oxtail.
Matt: "You're disgusting."
Richard: "How would you know? You've never eaten me."
Matt: "... I would call it devouring. You know what I'm talking about, Robbie."
Rob: "I do."
Matt: "It was a joint effort."
- Rob ate cow balls and chicken balls.
Richard: "I've never had balls, Robbie."

What did Matt think when fans made #youday in honour of his birthday?
- He loved it!
- He turned it into a charity event and went down to give stuff out to the homeless. Then someone attacked him on twitter saying that he was exploiting the homeless to make himself look good, but fandom came to his rescue and tore that guy a new one.
Richard: "[Fandom] is our real-life bodyguards."

The next questioner had brought a little stuffed hamster like the one that Richard and Rob used for their comedy bit at SDCC.
- Richard and Rob snatched it up and interviewed it on stage. Or, Matt and Rob interviewed it while Richard did the voice.
- It kept hitting on Matt, and it was hilarious. I was CRYING. After they gave the Hamster back, Matt had to sit down in a chair and try to recover, because was laughing too hard.
- Once they gave the Hamster back to the questioner, they told the story of how Brianna had brought her new baby to see them, and the baby had eyed Matt up and down, and had immediately just fixated on him. Matt was doing the itsy-bitsy spider, but Richard was like "you don't need the spider bit, man."

How did Matt feel when he got cast on How to Get Away with Murder? And How did he manage to get cast?
- He didn't actually watch it until after he was cast, and THEN he lost his mind because it was so amazing.
- How he managed to get cast? Sexual favours to TV execs. Then he joked that it was the guy who yelled "fuck you!" at them in the King of Con promo they did where Matt was running naked. "You, keep your clothes off and sign this contract!"
[Most likely, Matt got the job by going to the audition and doing his best]

The next person to the mic told them they have such amazing chemistry, they should have their own show.
- They'd love to. Right now, their show is Kings of Con, because Matt is in every episode. Ironically, Matt is the only one of them playing someone who is completely opposite to his personality type, because he plays a complete asshole who hates Rob.

Favourite episode they were in?
Richard - Changing Channels
Rob - Swan Song
Matt - Both of them.

Misha Collins

Next up was Misha, he immediately made fun of Richards picture that was projected onto the screen during the R2M panel. It was from SEVERAL years ago and he looked like he was the same age as Matt. Then Rob realized that because Richard looked so young, it made him look like the creepy uncle.

Misha then he said that the question that began with "you have such amazing chemistry" Misha had thought was going to end with "you have such amazing chemistry, why don't you just have sex on the stage."

Then R2M left the stage open for Misha.

Someone told him they were glad that he was better.

Then, and giving them the benefit of the doubt, I'm going to HOPE they said this as a joke, someone yelled out that next time Misha should carry a gun.
Misha: "Why have it end in mere bruises when it could end in a fatality."
- Misha also pointed out to the questioner that although that was a very American thing to say, they were in Canada at the moment and things are different here, implying that comments like that don't go over well.

[And they don't, because I wanted to punch that person in the face for being an idiot and then kick them and their toxic opinions out of my country. But I didn't do that, because I'm Canadian. Also, I apologize if any of you are gun-supporters. You and I were brought up in different cultures and we have an extreme difference of opinion on these matters, that's all. You are welcome to continue to ruin your own country though! And I will continue to ruin mine. Let's just agree not to go into each other's countries and say stupid things.... even if we are joking, and I really hope this person was joking. Also, if any of you are gun-supports, please don't comment about this issue. I am very Canadian when it comes to this issue.]

The first question was about Cas' stance on his "mission" and how that's varied over the seasons.
- Misha can't remember the context for the specific event/quote that the question referenced, but Misha thinks that Cas' core mission has always been "protect humanity" and it varies as he tries to figure out the best way to do that.

The next question was about John Barrowman, who has said that Fandom is his and Misha's pimps, and also that he might be working on a project with Misha, and they wondered what that was.
- Misha wonders if that makes them the whores, or one of them the whore and the other one the John.
- He doesn't know of any project, but he knows John keeps saying there's a project.
- As to why he hasn't worked with John, "he's more expensive than $200... it's $250."
- But Misha has no idea what John's talking about.
- John was also supposed to send him items for GISHWHES and didn't.

The next questioner asked "what question annoys you most?"
Misha: "This one!"
Questioner *in genuinely sweetest and sincere voice imaginable*: "Sorry."
Misha: "I'm such an asshole."
Questioner *still with sweetest voice*: "It's okay"
Misha: "I'm sorry."
- Misha hates hypothetical questions, like "if you could swap gender with anyone in Doctor Who who would you be?"..."because obviously I'd be the TARDIS."
Misha: "So for those of you in line right now... sorry for telling you I don't like your questions....probably like 80% of you."

What's on his bucket list? "There's probably not a lot you haven't done."
Misha: "Very little."
- He wants to do an ironman challenge... or like a 5k or something.
- He wants to go to Mongolia
- He wants to go to the arctic circle. - This leads to him arguing with someone, because they said "before it's too late!" in reference to global warming, but Misha argued that no, no matter the temperature, the arctic circle would still be there.
- He wants to go on adventure trips with his kids.
Misha: "... or, you know, be president."
- He actually does have a list of some things he wants to do, but he won't say what they, because he also wants to make a documentary about doing them.

It there a song that he associates with Cas?
- The theme song for the Greatest American Hero. Originally, the script said it was supposed to be Highway to Hell, but they couldn't get the rights to that song. Misha thinks the Greatest American Hero was actually much better in the end, because you had a bigger reaction of "what is he singing?!"
- When he first got the part, he was more into actory stuff, and he was "a little weird. That's changed now. I'm no longer weird." He thought Cas' favourite music would be Rachmaninoff's Vespers.

GISHWHES question
- Most of the time, Misha is glad that he doesn't participate himself, but this year it looked like people were having so much fun, he felt a little left out.

The next questioner started their question by mentioning Cooking Fast and Fresh with West.
Misha: "Sometimes, when you're a parent or when your me and you're a parent, you get tired, impatient... and don't feel like the parent that you want to be."
- So Misha wanted to do something fun one day. He told West that they were going to invent a new breakfast. West conconcted something with rice flour, grape juice, rice cakes, and then they baked it for all of two minutes. Then West ate his entire portion like it was delicious, so Misha ate his entire portion too.
Misha: "It was gross, but I didn't gag."

The question was actually about how Supernatural has affected his free time with his kids.
- Misha starts off by pointing out that 2 major things happened to his life since he started Supernatural, "no, three things... four things... fuck! A lot of things have happened since I started Supernatural!"
- He's now a C-list celebrity
- He has a regular job
- He has kids
- A whole lot of those changes are due to Supernatural. Not the kids "that would be weird." Misha surmises that he might have had kids just to have something to talk about at Conventions.
- Before SPN, Misha lived a very monastic lifestyle. SPN disrupted that. Now he deals with dirty diapers all the time.

What does he think Cas and Gabriel's relationship was like when they were kids, before all the family drama?
- He doesn't know.
Make something up!
- They made a lot of youtube videos.
- Poop... do angels poop? Then Misha started wondering if you need to eat in order to poop, because fecal matter is also dead-tissue cells and stuff like that.
- Back to the question, Misha thinks Gabriel picked on Cas and he was an bullying archangel dick.

Does he have any boat stories from going boating with Jensen?!
Misha: "Speaking of dicks..."
- Misha asks if we want to hear about how he "stripped my clothes off and went down?... went under?"
- The whole experience was very emasculating for Misha, really. Jensen used to have a boat, but then sold it. So Misha thought it'd be fun to take Jensen boating. But the first thing he did was hit another boat - no, the first thing he did was that he couldn't start the boat - and then Jensen asked him if it was in neutral, and that was the problem. Then something else happened and Jensen saved the day. Then they were fishing for crab and one of the crab traps got stuck under the boat, and Misha figured it was stuck on the propeller and he'd have to go under the boat to get it untangled.
Misha: "I'm going to be proactive, so I start taking my clothes off and as soon as my clothes are off, he's like 'I got it!'"
Misha thinks Jensen should have just let Misha go in the water and feel like he did something.
Misha: "Yes, we got crabs."
- Then Misha told a story about how West was playing with - or rather tortoring - the crabs, and Misha didn't really stop him, because he figured they were going to eat them anyway, and West was learning about crab anatomy. But the problem was that they stopped at a playground on the way home, and West was torturing this crab, and a woman started saying that West should stop tortoring the crab. Misha told her it was fine, and right when he did, West killed the crab.
Misha: "It was mortifying."

If Meg and Cas had a child, what would it be? Because we know there are Nephilim and Cambien, but what's a half-angel half-demon?
- Misha askes what a Cambien is.
Misha: "The anti-christ? Of all people I should know that!"
Misha: "That will really cook your noodle, won't it?"
- It'd be a hybrid, not really well balanced - probably a little tyrant in the house.
Fan: "Takes after the father then?"
Misha laughs.

What would Cas be like if he became a demon?
- Misha actually knows this, because he auditioned as a demon. His demon!Cas was snarky and had no empathy.

The next questioner mentioned that they did GISHWHES and they had done the item where you had to be blindfolded and fed wedding cake from behind.
- Misha explained that his wife did that to him at their wedding, because they thought it would be cute.
Misha: "It felt like I was drowning."
- It was like being tortured, but everyone was laughing, because they didn't realize what it felt like.

What is his cheesiest pick-up line?
- Misha hears "did it hurt when you fell from Heaven?" a lot. He asks the questioner what pick-up lines they've heard and whether they worked. The questioner says they're only a teenager still.
Misha: "Inappropriate question then."

What's the craziest thing that Maison has done or said?
- They have bluetooth in the car, and when they get in, it automatically starts playing the music from their phones, and they don't know how to turn it off, so they just let the music play. His kids love the Anaconda song. But the worst was when Maison started singing the "Naked Dutch Painter" song, which has the chorus "the naked dutch painter doesn't want to fuck you" - and she'll sing it to people at the playground.

At this point the band and Rich came out from backstage, because it was close to the end of the panel. Misha asked if they had been playing baseball back there, and whether the guitarist had been pitching.
"He's the catcher."
Misha: "You have a mean pitch for a catcher. I think you could pitch."
- Then they all laughed like 12 year-olds.

What would be Misha's super weapon and witty remark if he were a superhero?
- Toilet plunger, and "I flush you!"
- Richard pointed out that Rob's son drew that comic. Ron's son, when he was 8, drew a comic called Plungerman and sold it to Richard's sons, who loved it. (Adorable)
Misha: "I love how this show started with two hot guys on a teen network... and then at conventions we get up here and talk about our kids."

With that, they wrapped up the panel, Misha telling Richard and Rob how it went as though it were a sports game he had just played.
I had just enough time after autographs to run home and get my good camera battery (I had accidentally only brought the crappy one, which meant that I had to turn off my camera every five pictures of so, and leave it for two mintues until it forgot that it thought the battery was dead) and then it was time for...

The Saturday Night Special

So, by now, you guys all know what the highlight was - but bear with me here...

When we got inside, my seat neighbour told me she had heard rumours that MAYBE... and I said I had heard them too, but I didn't want to get my hopes up, because sometimes rumours really were just rumours. She agreed, and we vowed to just enjoy the concert and not to expect anything. And I don't know about her, but I truly did.

So, we started off with Louden Swain, who were rocking. I think the sound was much better in the convention centre than at the Sheraton.

Then Gil came out, and Osric, and even Matt sang a song! Actually Matt sang that Blur song, which I haven't heard for a while, and that was cool. Gil sang Maroon Five.

They had other actors announce the guest singers, so everyone was involved.

Everyone was in fine form and very good. Chris Schmelke (the photographer) came out to play the base, and Adam from Creation came out to play the keyboard. Mark played drums, and I got this picture, which I love:

I can't remember if it was before or after, but Louden Swain played a fantastic version of Carry On Wayward Son. It rocked.

And then Mark snuck out to get on the drums, and I was like "He looks happy..."

And then Richard came out to announce the next performer, and he said it was a "friend who is new to the convention scene and doesn't know many people in town..." and I was like "oh. my. god."

Richard introduced Jensen as "J-dog," and, yeah, the crowd went wild.

I'm sure you've all seen the videos by now, but the performance was AMAZING. He messed up once, and smiled to himself about it, and that just mad it all the more fuckin' endearing and awesome. And yeah, obviously his voice was brilliant, the song choice was brilliant, he ROCKED.

Not only that, but he chose to sing Simple Man, which is a song that (ever since 6x01) I HEAVILY associate with Dean Winchester. So, yeah, perfect song was perfect.

I did break my "no videoing, just enjoy the show" rule and recorded the whole thing. Part of me does regret it, because my attention WAS divided, but part of me is glad that I have my own little recording of the song. My camera, sadly, didn't get the sound very well, the base or drum line was just a little too loud for it, so it has a rhythmic *fuzz* sound through it. But, maybe I can get rid of that in an audio editor if I really try.

It was really good. We gave him a standing ovation.

Then he left, and Rob sang a few more numbers while we calmed down. Only, towards the end, Rob started playing songs that meant a lot to him. The guitarist had to re-tune his guitar, so Rob needed to chat for filler and ended up telling us more about what his songs were about... mainly, they were about how his father left them when Rob was young, and how much it hurt his mother, and how he always fantasized about her getting revenge somehow for being so mistreated. And Rob said that usually doesn't talk about this stuff, but he felt like he could with us... and yeah, so my hard heart, which was already in a weird state of euphoric gratitute to the universe for Simple Man, started to go out to Rob... and well, it doesn't help that my own father left when I was young, and completely screwed over my mother, and said some really awful things to her, which she doesn't even think are awful because she thought they were true...and maybe now she doesn't even remember half of them, and that's a good thing [god, Mum, I hope you aren't reading this... Angry-Letter-Rule applies here, if you are, you aren't allowed to talk to me about it.]

So, yeah, my heart was kind of all over the place, and so when everyone came out for A Little Help From My Friends, I didn't record it at all, I just enjoyed it - sang the "ooo"s when Rob told us too... and tried not to cry at how beautiful it all was. And Rob just went for it, completely passionately singing with all his heart about how he wouldn't be alive if it weren't for his friends... and yeah, so my dead-star engine heart, such that it is, totally made me cry.

After everyone left the stage, we gave them a (second) standing ovation, and they came back out and all gave a bow. It was really a wonderful night.

One of my friends, who has had a very tough year, was bawling. So, we had a lot of hugs before I left to go home and hopefully get some sleep...

Of course, I was pretty buzzed from it all, so I maybe only got 4 hours at most before it was time to wake up for the boys... but that's in the next report...
Tags: vancon2015

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