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Depressing post for depressed people

I've got tonsillitus again. I had it last month too - did I mention it here then? I don't know.

Anyway, apparently the way tonsillitus works is on a buy 4 in a year get a free surgery deal. But, this is just the second, and yeah, it's basically only a month after I last had it, but that doesn't necessarily mean I'm caught in some sort of weird pattern... it totally just means that I'll get over it this time and it will never ever come back.

My point, really, is that I'm miserable. Also, life sucks. I'm broke. I just got a new casual part-time job, but I did the math and that's not going to be enough to pay the bills either.

Everything is horrible.

In good news. I'm only three episodes away from finishing the S10 timeline. Yay! So, I'll probably get that done this coming week.

Also, in good news, I saw Mad Max: Fury Road on the weekend (just as my symptoms were starting to manifest, so before I got super miserable)... and it was a great movie! I had to pee really bad through the last quarter, but I still enjoyed it. It was so well done. I've read a lot of articles since about WHY it was well done, from the hero being the embodiment of positive masculinity fighting agains toxic masculinity... to how the filming and editing was all centre-framed to make the action easy to follow.

So, that's good...

Everything is still horrible though. What I really need is for someone to come over and make me lemon honey tea and then fix all my problems while I lay seemingly lifeless on my bed, drifting in and out of consciousness - sometimes, I might offer a witty rejoinder as entertainment, but other times I may just stare listlessly at my companion until my silence becomes uncomfortable.

My mum really wants me to come home for the summer still. And I really want to go. I'm not sure how I'm going to afford it... but, I'll probably go anyway. I need a vacation.

Long term, I'm having my doubts about whether I can stay in Vancouver. I mean, moving back home isn't going to solve anything either - it's just the difference between needing $2500/month to live and needing $1500/month to live....

Blaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhh

I guess I'll just try to make it through the summer and then see how things are in the fall. Maybe I'll be able to find a full-time job or something equally miraculous will happen.

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Comments

cappy712
Jun. 3rd, 2015 11:04 pm (UTC)
Big hugs to you! I know exactly what it's like - took me years to finally have a doctor that decided enough was enough. I was having 5 bouts a year and it was getting to the point that I was having a hard time breathing. I pray that it never gets that bad for you - too bad you can't convince the doctor to look at the previous times to see if you could get them out.

Feel better!
hells_half_acre
Jun. 4th, 2015 12:52 am (UTC)
Well, so far, the doctor seems like if it really looks like this is going to be a recurring thing, he's all for surgery - so I'm thankful for that. This is really only my second bout, and no matter what it seems, you can't point out a pattern with only two data points.

Which is why he says that if I get it too more times (or it continues to recur monthly) then he'll assign me to surgery.

I'm not really worried about the doctor not agreeing to surgery - I'm more concerned about the timing of it all. If I DO get it again, it will be right before I leave town for a month to go back home, which means that if it IS recurring monthly, I'm going to get it back home too in the middle of my vacation. Rar. :P

But yeah, I'll just take it as it comes. Luckily, the antibiotics seem to be doing their job and I'm feeling much better. :)