Hell's Half Acre (hells_half_acre) wrote,
Hell's Half Acre

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Quick Reaction: 9x03 I'm No Angel

Ok! The first actual regular Supernatural night since the season began - I didn't have to go anywhere or do anything that cut the evening short. I had wine.. It's late. I'm tipsy.. I walked home in the thick Vancouver fog...

So, let's see how much I remember...

We begin our story... I actually don't remember. I think with those priests, and angels looking for Castiel. And then with Castiel, who is applying toothpaste to his tongue and then swishing it around his mouth - and unsure if he'll ever get used to urinating. For the record, I don't think I'm used to urinating either.

Cas is homeless in Iowa and working and living at a shelter. He's going by the name Clarence.

Meanwhile, Sam and Dean are at the bunker. Sam is feeling great and going for his runs - and nagging Dean about eating poorly by not nagging him. And Dean is concerned about Cas, who they haven't heard from in days. Dean, apparently, believed that Cas would be able to get to Kansas faster than he's actually able too.

Ezekiel pops up in the conversation to add his two cents. Sam is fine, Dean should stop worrying - also, the angels are organizing. There's a faction looking for Castiel.

Oh, while all this is going on there's one of those TV evangelists that is telling his viewers to let angels in if they come knocking. Behind the scenes, and an angel named Bartholomew is telling him what to do. Bartholomew is your typical '80s villain - blond hair, blue-eyed. Seriously, he needs to be kicked in the balls by Molly Ringwald.

Also, whenever I hear the name Bartholomew, I immediately think of Space Balls and Barf ("short for Barfallonyou") and then I laugh like the 10 year-old I was when I originally saw Space Balls.

Anyway, Ezekiel goes away again and Sam just continues with what he's saying like nothing happened. I wonder when the day is going to come where Sam realizes he's experiencing minor blackouts....

Dean repeats the information that Ezekiel just gave him and then has to pretend like he's just making assumptions...and then it's off to find Cas, because Dean is now SUPER worried. It's kind of nice that they didn't leave it too long - basically just one episode for Dean to start realizing that Cas should have been there by now.

Cas meanwhile, finds the dead priests and realizing that angels must be close, so he takes off. He ends up camped under a bridge with some homeless people. (I've been to that location!) and sleeping in a bus. Dude, I've never been homeless, but I highly doubt that Cas could seriously get that sweet bus all to himself.

His reprieve doesn't last long though, as an angel tracks him down on the bus, slices his arm - discovering that he's human, which apparently the angels did not know (I'm not surprised) and then Cas kills him.

Cas then takes off again and ends up in a big city... he's hungry, but he's saving his money for a tattoo it seems. It must be a pretty cheap tattoo place, because I highly doubt Cas has THAT much money.

Anyway, back to Sam and Dean, who are trying to track down Cas... they work out how far he could have gotten and then look for evidence of freaky events in those circles. They find the killing in Colorado and the dead priests in Iowa... Dean fears they may already be too late, but they take off to investigate.

It's actually pretty cool to have Dean and Sam's MOTW-case be tracking Cas down...watching them be two steps behind him. It's a nice way to have a Cas-centric episode without leaving Dean and Sam out completely...also building up the suspense of how long it'll take them to catch up to him.

Because the Winchesters are not the only people looking for Cas. Bart contracts a freelancing Reaper to track him down once Cas gets the enochian tattoo that prevents the angels from zeroing in on him. I'm still unsure whether I like this addition to the Reaper mythology - I kind of liked Reapers being invisible to the non-dead and invincible... but Freelance Reapers are both visible and mortal by angel-blade, where they die a LOT like angels.

But Reaper dude start tracking Sam and Dean as they track Castiel. Sam and Dean eventually lead him to the homeless camp, where they find out that "Clarence" may have hitched a ride to Detroit. (Does Cas know where Kansas IS? Because I'm thinking he doesn't...)

Sam smiles at realizing that Cas is using a fake name - and not just any fake name, but the name that Meg gave him. Meanwhile, Dean apparently has never seen It's a Wonderful Life?!?!  Now, mortal visible Reapers I can take, but Dean not knowing a movie that plays on American TV EVERY SINGLE CHRISTMAS? I find that impossible to believe. I've actually never watched the whole movie myself, but even I know the basic story and who the hell Clarence is! (I only ever watched the beginning... it's the one that starts off with him falling through the ice and going deaf in one ear, right? Maybe I'm confused. Whatever, I still know that Clarence is the angel trying to earn his wings.)

Dean's at a loss for how to find Cas in Detroit (or on the road to Detroit) and he, not very subtly, tries to enact Plan B - which is to work with Ezekiel and not Sam. After an awkward moment with Sam, Ezekiel understands and comes forward... he can't track Cas, but he can track any reaper that is trying to track Cas.

Oh! I missed a whole part! - So Reaper dude was NOT subtle enough and the Winchesters cornered him in an alley to find out why he was tailing them. I liked the scene where they did that, because as soon as the Reaper turned into the alley and it was deserted, I couldn't help but think "don't go into that alley man, just walk away...." but he did not listen to my telepathy and he got himself killed. But he did warn them that even with him dead, Bartholomew would just hire another Reaper. He also let the cat out of the bag that Naomi was dead and who was in charge of the top faction of angels now.

Meanwhile, Cas is in Detroit (I'm guessing?... he's actually in Chinatown and the Downtown east-side, Vancouver...which, for the record, is a pretty realistic place for him to end up as a homeless person.)  He's scavenging in some dumpsters when a pretty girl finds him and gives him a sandwich. Awww, that's nice.

He's still there when she gets off of work at the end of the day, and she takes him home. This is where I started to think that she had to be some duplicitous supernatural being, because there is no possible way that any sane woman would take a homeless person home with them - I don't care how good looking and pathetic that homeless man looks. They would have to be completely insane.

Oh, dude, I forgot another part!! Before all that happens, Cas goes to a church and is super depressed. He overhears a woman praying to God to have the angels heal her husband, and he engages her in conversation - wondering what she would do if she found out that God had left and the angels didn't care. It was a fantastic conversation...both because you see the disappointment from Cas that angels aren't what people believe them to be, that they AREN'T good, and also because...,okay, I forget my second reason (I blame the wine)...maybe just because I find it fascinating that Cas can be an atheistic angel. The woman tries to argue with him and tell him that his truth doesn't negate her belief, because that's not how faith works...and that's where I kind of role my eyes as an atheist. (Sorry if that offends any of my religious readers), but um, yeah, I was born without the ability to believe in God, so you'll just have to practice that forgiveness when it comes to me. Still, who knows, maybe Cas DOES need to keep his faith in God, at least, if not the other angels. My friend wondered aloud about why the angels would be so horrible, when they have to know that God would be absolutely pissed about it when he got back - and I responded that it would definitely be an episode to look forward to! So, we'll see.

Anyway, back to crazy-woman-who-can't-possibly-be-a-rational-human-female-in-our-society... we'll call her April, because that's her name. April brings Cas back to her place and notices that his shirt is soaked in blood. She asks what happened to the other guy, "I stabbed him. He exploded." Oh Cas....

But April just bandages him up - and then gives him a massage - as all single ladies who live alone do with the homeless men they bring home, of course. Then she sleeps with him, because yeah...I guess that's something you do with random homeless men too.

Now, I kid, but I'm kind of glad that Cas' sex-with-a-lady-event wasn't as bad as I feared back during VanCon. I always imagine the worst case scenario when it comes to sex, and I was seriously afraid that Cas, being homeless, would end up getting raped.... but no, he consents, it seems, even if April is lying about who she is.

They have adorable pillow talk where they both basically ask if they did things correctly. Does no one remember that Cas has technically been married before? I guesss Emmanuel and Daphne had an asexual relationship - which is fine, there's nothing wrong with that. You don't have to wash the sheets as often.

In the morning though, Cas wakes to find his angel blade missing, because April is using it to slice grapefruit - LIKE A CREEPER. And sure enough, she's a Supernatural being hired to take him out. Cas is appalled that she felt the need to sleep with him first - so, I guess I wasn't TOO far off with my fears. But apparently Reapers also like getting it on from time to time? It reminds me of the Ifrit in American Gods. I loved loved loved that part of the book. Seriously, why couldn't they just make these "freelance Reapers" into Ifrits...they could still give them access to Heaven and Hell for some reason, I don't care - it's Supernatural, they twist myths anyway.

But in any case, April starts torturing Cas for information. Not believing that he was naively tricked by Metatron, and that he must have been Metatron's full partner. Cas makes the argument that that since his grace was the final ingredient in the spell that sealed heaven, that he might be needed (alive) in order to reopen heaven. OOOO....the plot thickens.

Then the Winchester's bust in the door and April stabs Cas! As much as I didn't want Cas to die, I was kind of happy to see this... I'm kind of sick of shows where the hero busts in the door and for some reason the villain DOESN'T just immediately kill the hostage. But April stabs Cas in the diaphragm/liver area and then throws the Winchesters into walls.

Dean stabs April, but it's too late for Cas, who is apparently dead. Here, my friends, the scientists, paused the show and explained that that wound wouldn't have actually killed him that fast. He should have still been alive and bleeding out...also there should have been more blood. Also, Dean shouldn't have removed the impaled object as that would have let Cas to bleed out faster. Then we started discussing anatomy (which I don't actually know that much about) and I discovered that I'm a freak, because when I drink cold water it feels like the water pools in my left shoulder - which apparently is not as common as I thought it was. Anyway, we then worked out that my pulmonary artery must run very close to my esophagus, and it's actually my deoxygenated blood that cools as it travels to my left lung.... and it was all very fascinating... and then we remembered that we were watching a show and it was a heartwrenching moment!

Cas is dead. Dean is devastated.

Ezekiel to the rescue! I like how at first Dean addresses Sam like he's still Sam, and then only realizes when Sam doesn't respond that it's Ezekiel. Ezekiel heals Cas, but it costs him a fair bit of his strength, and he staggers back and Sam takes over again.

Cas wakes up confused, knowing that he had been stabbed, and being surprised that he wasn't dead. Sam is also confused. Dean quickly tells them that he had made a deal with April - that if she healed Cas, he wouldn't kill her.

"You lied."
"Yes. I do that!"
- Or whatever the words were - but I loved these lines, because it's technically the only moment that Dean actually tells the truth. It also drives home the fact that one lie leads to another and sooner or later Dean, the worst Winchester at keeping secrets, is going to have so many lies upon lies that I'm pretty sure he won't be able to take it anymore.

With the damsel in distress rescued, they head back to the bunker. Cas is thankful to have burritos and good water pressure. (He obviously takes after Dean), and he drops the bombshell that he had sex - which makes Dean choke on his own burrito and then look kind of proud (or confused about what his response should be, if you're a destiel shipper). Cas, apparently doesn't know about safe sex though, because when asked if he used protection, Cas replied that he had his angel blade with him. Oh Cas.

Cas is confident that Dean and Sam will be good teachers for how to be human, because now that Cas has been human for a bit, he understand how much more impressive it is that Dean and Sam are the way they are.

However, the happily ever after can't last. As soon as Cas leaves the room, Ezekiel gives Dean an ultimatum. He's convinced that Cas will lead the angels straight to them - and he can't stay if that happens. So, either Cas goes, or Ezekiel does. If Ezekiel goes, Sam dies...and if Ezekiel goes WITH Sam, then Dean doesn't have Sam and he basically sold his brother to be used by an angel however the angel sees fit. So, therefore Dean has to tell Cas that he has to leave.

And man, Cas is DEVASTATED. He doesn't even say anything, but just that look on his face is horrible... I sincerely hope that Dean sends him away with credit cards and cash this time. Maybe gives him a cell phone. SOMETHING.

But really, I have to ask myself, why is Ezekiel so afraid of the other angels? He never did introduce himself to that angel in the parking garage... yet, Cas vouched for him. Maybe Ezekiel isn't actually Ezekiel and only another angel would be able to tell? Or Ezekiel IS Ezekiel and for some reason he's on the outs with all the other angels for reasons that Cas doesn't know about? I'm thoroughly confused.

In anycase, strike 1 against Zeke.

And that's that! I feel like I forgot a ton. I'm sorry.... let me know in comments if there are things you desperately want to discuss that I only glossed over or forgot completely!!

Next week looks cracktastic.
Tags: quick reaction, season 9

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