This is best illustrated through a conversation I had about it with my little sister:
Me: "People keep saying 'Dean is a lot like me' or 'I'm a lot like Dean', and then they go on to list all of Dean's good qualities.
Susie: "Huh. Really?"
Me: "Yeah, like 'He's so devoted to his family' and 'He has a clear concept of what is right and wrong'...but, you know, I think I'm like Dean, but not because of his good points..."
Me: "I think I'm like Dean because we have the same faults..."
Susie: "Yeah, like how he makes jokes as a...umm..."
Me: "Using humour as a defense mechanism? And not acknowledging that he has emotions other than happiness or anger..."
Susie: "Right." *starts ticking off faults on fingers* "Humour as a defence mechanism; denies emotions; avoids emotional situations at all costs; avoids talking about things that he should really talk about; sabotages all his relationships; doesn't think anyone loves him; not to mention all his self-worth issues. OH DEAN!" :'-(
Susie: "At least you didn't go to hell"
Me: "Thanks, that makes me feel a lot better."
Susie: "Ha! You don't have the self-worth issues."
Me: "True. I'm freakin' awesome."