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Fic: Damned Demented Demons 4/32 SPN/HP

Title: Damned Demented Demons 4/32
Author: ME!
Fandoms: Supernatural/Harry Potter
Rating: PG-13 (for swearing)
Warnings: Spoilers for all Harry Potter books, Spoilers up to 4x10 for Supernatural.
Disclaimer: Sam and Dean belong to Kripke, Harry Potter belongs to Rowling.
A/N: I started writing this just for fun and something to do. When it got up to about 6 chapters and I was nowhere near done, I figured I might as well start posting it. I don't know how long it'll end up being (it's 8 chapters now), nor when I will complete it, nor exactly what will happen in later chapters, but I might as well take some other people on this amusing journey with me.
A/N to Chapter 4: A shorter chapter this time, just because there wasn't a better place to break up the narrative. I'll try to get the next chapter out quicker to compensate. Sorry!

Summary: In which Harry thinks up a weak cover story.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3

"So what! We're just sitting ducks here?!" Dean let his frustration loose, as he stood and angrily paced the room. "We have to follow you around for the rest of our lives? Or are you just going to give us a night's rest before you let them finish us off?!"

"The silver deer?" Sam asked, interrupting. "The silver deer I saw wards them off, right? You had it with you. You could give it to us..."

"No," Harry interrupted, "Well, yes and no. Yes, it wards off Dementors. No, I can't give it to you."

"Why not?" Sam insisted, "What was it? You could tell us how to get one, or make one, or summon one...!"

"It's part of me, that's why!" Harry said. "It doesn't go anywhere without me. It's called a Patronus. It's a spell. It's only in the shape of a stag because I'm the one that cast it. It only exists when I tell it to and only for as long as I concentrate on it. You can't ward off Dementors because you aren't magic. I'm sorry."

"Then what the hell are we supposed to do?" Dean asked pointedly.

"I'll figure something out. I'm not going to just leave you defenseless. Why on earth would I have bothered saving you in the first place, if I was going to do that?" Harry replied rhetorically.

Dean sagged onto the nearest bed and ran a hand over his face.

"Sorry man, I've just...people saving me....lately..." Dean scrambled for words that Harry knew were never going to come. Sam's turned a sympathetic eye to his brother and shifted uneasily on his feet. Harry decided now was as perfect a time as any to start putting things in motion.

"I'm going to call Phil back in here and give my orders," Harry stated, slipping back into Auror-mode. "You guys keep quiet, and try not to do anything suspicious. I'm letting you in on my orders to maintain the trust, understood? But I have to trust you as well; if I'm going to help you, you need to listen to me and do what I say. Is that clear?"

"Yessir," Dean and Sam both muttered on reflex, and Harry had to bite his cheek to hide the grin that threatened to erupt at the simultaneous looks of horror that dawned on their faces when they realized what they had just said.

"Did we...?" Sam started to ask, but Dean cut him off with a hard look. Harry flipped open his two-way mirror.

"Team," Harry spoke clearly. "We're staying at this hotel for the night. Follow protocol accordingly. Length of stay is undetermined. Keep the perimeter secure in shifts of three, starting with Charlie, Deacon, and Allison. Phil, report to my location immediately for further instruction." A resounding chorus of "yessir"s and "affirmative captain"s resounded through the mirror before Harry said "dismissed" and slipped it back in his pocket.

Phil apparated just inside the doorway again, causing Dean to leap to his feet and reach for the nearest weapon, which happened to be Harry's wand. Harry could see Phil struggle not to reach for his own wand in response, but Sam already had a hand on Dean's arm in an obvious attempt to tell him it was alright.

"Sorry," Harry said to Phil, ignoring the Winchesters for a moment. "Forgot to warn him."

"You've been disarmed, sir?" Phil asked, obviously trying to figure out if Harry was being held there against his will or not.

"Disarmed? Really, Phil. I merely left my wand on the bed in my haste to make sure Dean was alright," Harry laughed. He could see the Winchesters both trying to withhold their smiles, but thankfully neither of them called him out as a liar. "You mind if I take that back now, Dean?"

"Uh, no..." Dean said with little hesitation, and made as if to cross the room to hand it to him.

"No, need," Harry said, raising his open hand in front of him and muttering a quick Accio. The wand flew from Dean's hand to his own. Both Sam and Dean's eyes widened, but Harry credited them both for not showing their surprise verbally. He was also thankful that they would assume that he could have done that the whole time, when in reality, the only way that spell could have worked was if Dean offered to give Harry the wand beforehand, since he had indeed been legitimately disarmed.

Phil guard dropped several degrees immediately, but Harry could still tell that he was wary of the Winchesters.

"You two help yourself to more cake," Harry said. "Phil and I just need to discuss a few things." Harry motioned Phil to have a seat at the table, and after another silent eye-conversation, Dean came over and picked up the box of cake.

"Uh," Sam said, obviously unsure about whether he should be talking, "I'm just going to walk down to the vending machine, see if it has anything to wash down cake."

"Do you mind getting me a cola? Phil, would you like anything?" Harry asked, Phil shook his head, but didn't look at Sam. "Nothing for Phil then, thanks."

Harry knew what Sam was really doing. Dean was stationed on a bed with the cake, with no excuse for not overhearing everything Harry and Phil said, and Sam was now investigating the immediate surrounding area, possibly trying to get a look at Harry's team, while disguising the reconnaissance as an innocent run to the vending machine. The Winchesters were trusting Harry, but they weren't stupid, Harry had to give them that.

"What's going on, Harry?" Phil asked tersely. Harry huffed a short laugh.

"How come you only call me Harry when you aren't sure that you like what I'm up to?" Harry asked with a wink. Phil had the decency to look a little chagrined, but he still gave Harry a level look.

"And what are you up to, Sir?"

"Please, Phil. Call me Harry."

Dean coughed into his cake, then tried to cover it by looking impatiently at the door for Sam to return with something to drink.

"Harry..." Phil said exasperated.

"Ok, ok...so, here's the facts: These brothers here are old friends of mine, understand? I didn't even know they were in North Carolina and I'm thrilled to see them. They both, one of them especially, has a nasty susceptibility to the influence of Dementors...for reasons that, let's just say...have to do with the war. I'd love to catch up with them for a day or so, make sure they're alright...maybe they could travel with us for a bit, or maybe our team will just stay here...I guess it depends partially on the Dementor movements."

"Harry, you didn't even know who the Winchesters were earlier...I saw you introduce yourself..." Phil started.

"Winchesters? I still don't know who the Winchesters are. I believe we have a case of mistaken identity. These are my friends Sal and Dirk Windermere. That little bit with introductions is just this gag we pull on each other, you know how old friends are."

"Harry, you don't expect me to believe..." Phil began, just as Sam opened the door.

"Took you long enough, Sal," Dean said. Sam gave Dean a bemused look, and walked over to Harry.

"Here's your coke, Harry," He said.

"No problem, thanks Sal," Harry replied. "Now why don't you go help your brother Dirk finish that cake."

"Sure thing..." Sam said, nodding.

Harry turned back to Phil, who was rolling his eyes, and smiled.

"I don't expect you to believe anything, Phil," Harry said. "I just expect you to back me up, seeing as how you are my second in command."

"You are one infuriating kid sometimes, Sir," Phil muttered. "You're lucky I respect you so much."

"I'm lucky for a lot of reasons," Harry replied seriously. There was a pause, when the only sounds in the room were Sam and Dean taking swings from their drinks and not even bothering to hide the fact that they were listening. Phil sighed and angled his chair so that he could speak to everyone, and not just Harry. Harry didn't bother hiding the grin on his face.

"Alright, why do you need the story? I take it we aren't just leaving in the morning," Phil asked.

"No, I don't think we can," Harry said, the grin slipping from his face. "My friends here are too susceptible to the presence of Dementors. Leaving them would probably be the equivalent of killing them, unless we were able to take the Dementors with us."

"That's a bit extreme, unless they're kissed..." Phil's brow furrowed.

"No, Dean is an unchartable," Harry interrupted, "and from what I saw, Sam's not much better off. We need to stay with them, or figure out how to protect them."

Phil nodded, and then finally addressed the Winchesters directly, "Can you really see them?" he asked Sam. Harry saw Dean tense and Sam's eyes flicker towards his briefly.

"No," Sam said, eyes innocent. "I just knew that what was happening wasn't natural."

"But you called them 'black things', you knew there were more than one..." Phil continued.

"Turns out our boys aren't as stealthy as we thought!" Harry interrupted, thinking on his feet, "I've asked Sam about that, turns out he's just been seeing us running around in our robes since we got to town. You know how observant Hunters are."

Phil rolled his eyes. "Fine, Sir. What do you need me to do?"

"There has to be a way to protect Muggles against Dementors, I want you to find any books or scrolls on the subject and bring them back here. Keep it as hushed as possible."

"Understood, Sir."

"I'm going to stay with my friends here for the night," Harry said, ignoring Phil's sharp look and the Winchesters' audible pause in eating. "I'll come out and check the team, though." Harry directed, his attention back to the Sam and Dean, "Guys? Mind if I pop out for a moment?"

Harry tried not to show how anxious he was for their response. It was one thing for them to trust him when they had him in plain sight and could listen to everything he said, it was another all together to let him talk to his men alone.

There was a pregnant pause, in which Sam looked to Dean and Dean looked at Harry. Then Dean pasted on a carefree smile.

"Whatever, just...leave by the door," Dean said.

"Brilliant, back in five then," Harry responded and motioned Phil towards the door. Once outside, they began walking towards the perimeter - Harry had been serious about checking on the team, afterall. Harry spoke lowly, knowing that Phil was waiting for his additional orders.

"Phil, since my friends keep getting confused with these Winchester brothers, it might be handy if I could get my hands on whatever the Ministry has on file concerning them." Harry knew full well that it wasn't just Sam who had trusted a complete stranger that night. Harry intended to find out exactly who the Winchesters were, by whatever means he had at his disposal.

Chapter 5

Masterpost

Comments

( 13 comments — Leave a comment )
redrikki
Apr. 12th, 2009 06:08 pm (UTC)
Sal and Dirk? Isn't that what comic-book guy thought their names were? Can't wait to see where you're going with this.
hells_half_acre
Apr. 12th, 2009 07:20 pm (UTC)
Yes, actually, I came up with the names first! :P

I knew that Sam and Dean were based on Sal and Dean from "On The Road"...so I wanted to use Sal for Sam's fake name, but then Dean couldn't stay Dean, so he became Dirk.

Then about a month after I originally wrote this, the Supernatural writers did the exact same thing!
jujuberry136
Apr. 12th, 2009 09:36 pm (UTC)
Sneaky Winchesters! And sneaky Harry, too!

Love that both brothers "sir'd" Harry, :D

Thanks for the cool update!
hells_half_acre
Apr. 12th, 2009 11:48 pm (UTC)
Thanks for reading!

What can I say - people who are given authority early in life never quite lose the knack for asserting it ;)
julorean
Apr. 12th, 2009 10:22 pm (UTC)
Oh, very clever of Harry there at the end. I do wonder what dirt they've got on the brothers? If they have even half of what we've seen on the show...well! This oughta be good.
hells_half_acre
Apr. 12th, 2009 11:53 pm (UTC)
Haha, well, you have to remember that they're Wizards, and these are Muggles...and well, there IS a historic general lack of interest...but hopefully you'll like what I did with that part! After all, there IS a file... :-P
lelaro
Apr. 13th, 2009 02:34 am (UTC)
love the fact that there are silent conversations all over the place
hells_half_acre
Apr. 13th, 2009 02:51 am (UTC)
Thanks! :)
crayzee_gal
Apr. 13th, 2009 03:26 am (UTC)
Ooh - I can't wait to see what the MOM has on the Winchesters!
achilles_eel
Apr. 13th, 2009 03:20 pm (UTC)

"Yessir" Dean and Sam both muttered on reflex, and Harry had to bite his cheek to hide the grin that threatened to erupt at the simultaneous looks of horror that dawned on their faces when they realized what they had just said.

"Did we...?" Sam started to ask, but Dean cut him off with a hard look.


-dies laughing- So beautiful!

Harry's cover story was so seriously lame that I just HAD to shake my head in disbelief. I mean, common! I could have come up with something better than that! Good thing Sam and Dean are quick on the uptake.
I wonder what Dean's reaction to the 'Dirk' and 'Sal's pasts will be. I hope he doesn't do anything too drastic. :D

Can't wait for the next one!
hells_half_acre
Apr. 13th, 2009 09:02 pm (UTC)
Haha, I'm glad you thought Harry's story was as lame as I did. When I started writing this, it was for something to do when I was too tired to do anything else...and well, it shows sometimes :-P
keerawa
Oct. 11th, 2009 06:53 pm (UTC)
Harry with his absolute confidence in his own authority prompting "Yessir" Dean and Sam both muttered on reflex, and Harry had to bite his cheek to hide the grin that threatened to erupt at the simultaneous looks of horror that dawned on their faces when they realized what they had just said.? That made me laugh.

I'm amused by everyone's comfort with lies, and Harry trying to protect Sam from teh Ministry.
hells_half_acre
Oct. 11th, 2009 07:05 pm (UTC)
:-)

I'm happy to have amused you.

Thanks for reading!
( 13 comments — Leave a comment )

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