Ok...so, first let me say that I was really nervous about this episode before I saw it. I know the boys will never die, but I get nervous about the sorts of things that they have to live through...
Oh man, the beginning was written SO BADLY, only, ON PURPOSE, so therefore it was written BRILLIANTLY. I didn't know whether I should be cringing or laughing or both...it was...so...bad....and hilarious. Also, I love how they got a girl and a guy who were Kirsten Stewart and Robert Pattenson knockoffs and actually named them Kirsten and Robert. I am probably spelling those actors names wrong, but I don't care. I don't like vampires and I REALLY don't like Twilight.
I loved them going through the girls room. I loved Dean's comment about the dude on the book watching her sleep "how is that not rapey." And suggesting passwords...
The guy on guy action in the club was a nice touch. Then Dean gets someone telling him he's pretty in an alley. Just in case there's anyone out there who doesn't know this: SOMEONE TELLING YOU YOU'RE PRETTY WHILE IN AN ALLEY IS A BAD THING!
Because then we find out that Sam isn't just a robot...he's an EVIL ROBOT. He's EvilLyingRobotSammy....because he JUST STANDS THERE! DUDES! HE JUST STANDS THERE AND WATCHES DEAN GET VAMPED! NOT ONLY THAT, HE SEEMS ODDLY TURNED ON BY THE IDEA (Seriously...I told Jared at VanCon that Gen had an awesome evil smirk...apparently he asked her for lessons. IT IS A MARRIAGE OF EVIL SMIRKS!...I kind of wish I could sleep with both of them...evilly).
Poor Dean! *SAD FACE*
So, then Dean goes crazy because he can hear everything...and Sam's heartbeat is all steady...apparently this model of EvilLyingRobotSammy comes included with a steady-heartbeat feature. UGH!
So, Dean RUNS AWAY!
And and...maybe Grandpa Campbell ISN'T evil? I'm SO CONFUSED!
Anyway, Dean goes and watches Lisa sleep - because, you know, when Dean does it's not rapey at all...only, you know...it is. And seriously, someone has to tell these girls to stop wearing white nightgowns. I will never be able to wear a white nightgown in my life after watching this show.
Dean's actions kind of remind me of one of my sister's though. She used to annoy the heck out of me, because whenever she got drunk, it was like she had to act like the absolute stereotypical drunk person. To the point where a lot of the time, I had to wonder if she was actually drunk or if she just liked playing the part of a stereotypical drunkard. I HATED IT. I think Dean's got a touch of that in him...he's been turned into a vampire, so he's suddenly watching people sleep and stricking dramatic poses, because he figures he might as well go all out and be a stereotype. It's either that, or I just TOTALLY insulted Jensen's acting. I'm going to go with the former, though...because Jensen kicks ass.
Also, I absolutely love the scene where Grandpa and Sam are all like getting out the knives and wondering where Dean is, and then Dean says "I told you he'd kill me when he got here" and he's all slumped against the refrigerator. Mmmm...slumped vampire Dean scaring the bejeesus out of Hunters is hot...(but only because he's Dean and he's scary, not because he's a vampire. I don't like vampires!)
Anyway, apparently there's a cure! Yay! Only Dean can't drink any blood and he has to go kill Fluffy McScruffyhead. So, he takes off to do it! WOO!
And while he's gone, Grandpa is all like "Sam...umm...I told you about the cure, why'd you act all surprised?" and Sam's like "What in the who now? That was someone else." And Grandpa is like "It's almost like you let Dean get turned so that you could find the Alpha Vampire we've been trying to find" and Sam's like "WHAT KIND OF PERSON WOULD STAND IDLY BY WHILE THEIR BROTHER WAS MOLESTED BY A VAMPIRE?!? HOW DARE YOU!" Only Sam DID DO THAT. Sam is totally an EVIL LIAR WHO LIES! NOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooo
Also, this means that Sam's totally in on this Campbell Alpha-hunting thing...what the heck?! WHAT IS GOING ON?!
Anyway, Dean goes to the Vampire next and meets an airhead named Robert...he's such an airhead that he totally leaves the door of the blood fridge open. Not cool dude...you are wasting energy AND blood.
And then Dean has to pretend he's interested in the "private tour" with Fluffy McScruffyhead....and dear god, I just know that in the more unseemly places in this fandom there will actually be Dean/FluffyMcScruffyhead porn and I just...what's the term? Oh yeah: DO NOT WANT.
But instead of taking down Fluffy, Dean tips him off...and then all the vampires go into comas (including Dean), and the Alpha sends them a message that is 1 part The Ring and 2 parts The Shining....and somehow the vampires must all be very adept at dream interpretation.
But Dean doesn't let it get him down - he wakes up and GOES TO TOWN WITH KILLING! KILL EVERYTHING WOO! HE IS A KILLING MACHINE. MORE KILLING! AWESOME JUMP FROM THE BALCONY! MORE KILLING! SUPER AWESOME!
And then Grandpa and Sam show up, but all the killing is done. Suckers!
And Grandpa says "I guess your brother has some Campbell in him after all" and this rubs me the wrong way for multiple reasons:
1)Winchester is such a more awesome name than Campbell. WINCHESTER is a legacy name...Campbell is the name of soup.
2)Dude, DEAN WENT BACK IN TIME WHEN YOU FIRST MET HIM. HOW BADASS IS THAT?!!?! DO NOT MAKE FUN OF DEAN!
3)I've known two Campbell families in my life - one ran a science camp (not badass...though I had a lot of fun at camp), and the other one was a family where the son was abused by the stepmom, and the dad STOOD IDLY BY! (not cool people...not cool at all). The camp people were nice, but I still do not associate the name Campbell with badassery.
Ok, back to the show...Dean gets fed the cure and in his curing all his memories get rewound and he realizes that SAM IS AN EVIL LYING ROBOT!
And on top of that, Lisa is hiding from him. Great. Dean is all alone with EvilLyingRobotSammy who DOES NOT HAVE HIS BACK AT ALL.
So, a couple of things:
1)WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH SAM?!?! PLEASE SOMEONE FIX SAM! I have gone from being super worried about Sam and sympathetic towards him, to being super worried about EVERYONE and wanting someone to fix Sam BEFORE HE KILLS AGAIN!
2)Damn it...I forgot my other points...Sam is so distracting. If I remember them, I will add them later...
ETA: 3) It's nice to know that even when Sam is evil, he's still a crap liar.
So, in conclusion, I am still super nervous about everything.