Hell's Half Acre (hells_half_acre) wrote,
Hell's Half Acre

Fic: Vile Violent Vacations 12/30 (SPN/HP) PG-13, Gen

Title: Vile Violent Vacations 12/30
Author: hells_half_acre 
Fandoms: Harry Potter, Supernatural
Rating: PG-13 (for language)
Genre: Gen
Warnings: Spoilers for all Harry Potter books, spoilers for Supernatural until 5x10.
Disclaimer:  This is a transformative work of fiction for entertainment purposes only.
AN: Sequel to Damned Demented Demons and Bobby and Hermione - An Epistolary Fic . Updates every Wednesday (PST).

Previous Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11

Summary: In which the Winchesters meet George Weasley and Dean spots a familiar face in the crowd.

Weasley’s Wizarding Wheezes was like a funhouse. There were moving displays, and things packaged in every colour of the rainbow. There was a large picture of two identical redheaded teens wearing shiny suits on the wall. They were laughing and waving at the customers. The shop was mostly filled with parents following around children who all seemed to be under ten. Dean realized it was probably because all the older kids had left on the train that morning.

There were bins of candy, but Dean remembered all too well how it felt to accidentally turn into a canary, so he wasn’t tempted...still, he wondered what else they could possibly do. Before he could read any of the packaging though, a familiar voice called out.

“Dean, Sam!” Ron said, waving from behind a counter at the side of the store, a large antique cash register beside him. “I was hoping Harry would bring you by!”

“Oh, hello, Ron, nice to see you too, dear brother!” Bill said. “How am I? Well, thanks for asking...”

“Oh shut-up, I just saw you last night,” Ron said. “Hey Harry, watch the counter while I go get George, he can give Sam and Dean the full tour.”

“My pleasure,” Harry said. “I’m fine too by the way – seeing my godson off at the train has not emotionally crushed me too much this time ‘round, thanks for asking.”

“Glad to hear it,” Ron rolled his eyes, before turning and walking to the back of the shop, where he disappeared through a door.

Harry slipped behind the counter just as a little boy and his mother approached. Dean bit his lip in order to keep from laughing at the way both the mother’s and the son’s eyes went wide at seeing who was ringing up their purchases.

“Ten Gallions, please,” Harry said, “Did you find everything you were looking for?”

“Yes, Mr. Potter, Sir,” the mother breathed, her hands fumbling with her change purse. She took out some odd looking coins and handed them to Harry, who punched a few buttons on the manual cash register that caused the tray to ding open.

“Brilliant. Thank you for shopping at Weasley’s Wizarding Wheezes. Have a nice day!” Harry smiled back. The kids face broke into a wide smile, as he continued to stare at Harry while is mother pulled him out of the store.

“Are you intimidating our customers again, Harry?” a voice came from the back of the shop. Dean turned to see an older version of one of the red-headed twins he had seen in the picture at the front of the store. His hair was shaggier though, falling just past his ears.

“There’s a reason I’m the silent partner, you know,” Harry smiled back.

“Now, introduce us to your friends, Ron,” the guy smiled.

“George, I’d like you to meet Dean Winchester, and his brother Sam,” Ron introduced. “Sam, Dean, this is my brother George. This is his shop.”

“Our shop,” George corrected, “We did make you a full partner, Ron – or don’t you remember?”

Dean watched as Ron smiled widely. He suddenly reminded Dean of Sam, when Dean was teaching him how to drive...smiling like he was part of the coolest thing in the world. Dean had to admit, looking around the shop, that he could certainly see the appeal.

“Fancy a tour of the shop?” George asked.

“Definitely,” Dean smiled, wondering if he could somehow sneak one of those canary candies to Sam...that would be a big canary.

“Do not get any ideas, Dean!” Sam said, glaring like Dean had already done it.

“What?” Dean asked, and then bit back his smile when Sam just stood there shaking his head.

George led them around the shop, enthusiastically explaining the different products and how they had come up with them, and which their best sellers were. It was always “Fred and I” or “we”, as though he never came up with an idea just on his own. There were even a few products where he said that it was Ron’s idea that “we” perfected. And slowly Dean started to realize that George was actually only talking about himself. There was no other person – not anymore. Sometimes George even spoke in half-sentences as though he expected someone else to finish them for him.

Dean thought of the summer when he and Sam had been apart, and remembered how he still scanned take-out menus looking for salads that Sammy might like. He wondered if Sam didn’t survive the battle and he did – if he’d end up like George, talking as though his brother was next to him instead of 6 feet under – or, in their case, a handful of ashes on the forest floor.

“Oh! I’ve seen these before!” Sam suddenly said, picking up a weird flesh coloured ear on a string. “Harry showed me in that memory-bowl.”

Dean picked up one of the weird things too, wondering what they did. This was the first he had ever seen them – and also, the first time Sam had mentioned anything about what Harry had shown him in the memory-bowl.

George looked equally surprised, glancing across the store to where Harry, Ron, and Bill stood by the counter chatting.

“Why would he use a Pensieve to show you Extendable Ears?” George asked. “He carries a pair in his bag.”

“Oh, it wasn’t about...I mean, I just saw you using them...at the hospital, when your Dad was bitten by the snake,” Sam explained haltingly.  “They worked really well – I thought if you could make one without the string, that’d be even more useful.”

As soon as Sam had mentioned what memory it had been though, George’s eyes went wide and he looked even more confused.

“Why on earth would he show you that night?” George asked.

“Uh, he...wanted to,” Sam said, sighing and putting the Extendable Ears back on the shelf. “Listen, nevermind about it ok. I just...I thought they were cool.”

“No...sorry, sorry. I just...that wasn’t a good night for us,” George said, giving Sam an apologetic smile, and motioning to the Extendable Ears. “There’s a spell you can use with them that will do away with the need for the string, but it can be a confusing experience. I think the Aurors use them that way though.”

Sam nodded, and George moved them on to the next thing. Eventually, when Dean thought Sam was busy reading about Decoy Detonators, Dean pulled George towards a stack of hats, well away from Sam or any other customers.

“What was that memory Sam was talking about?” Dean asked him in a whisper.

George picked up a fedora and placed it on Dean’s head, giving him a smile.

“Our Dad was bitten by a snake,” George said, his smile slowly fading. “And then, when we used the Ears, we found out that it might be possible for Voldemort to possess Harry. It wasn’t a good night. One of the worst, before the war – I don’t know why Harry would show that to Sam.”

“You were all afraid of him,” Sam said, suddenly beside them again.

“No,” George shook his head, “we were afraid for him. Harry’s harmless, always has been. Fred and I were always trouble makers, but trouble follows Harry around like a shadow – and not the fun kind of trouble either, like we made. We sort of adopted him, Fred and I – like a second little brother – and we wanted to look out for him. But we couldn’t do anything about his Aunt and Uncle, and Harry kept getting into situations that we couldn’t handle, or only heard about after he was already recovering in the hospital – and we were useless, really. So, when we heard that – I mean, it was You-Know-Who! We were no match for him – we had every right to be terrified of losing Harry.”

“Oh,” Sam said, and looked at Dean as though it was Dean that was the confusing person between the three of them. Maybe it was because Dean was still wearing the fedora that George had stuck on his head.

“We promised each other that we’d do everything we could to help Harry, no matter what,” George continued. “So, I lost an ear,” George lifted his hair away from the side of his head. Dean swore under his breath at seeing the scarred skin where George’s ear should have been. “And Fred went and died without me, the bastard. Now I’m left sounding more pretentious than Percy, because I’m not used to being just one person.”

There was an awkward silence, because what the hell do you say to that. Dean hadn’t lasted two days without Sam, and Sam had...well, the fact that George seemed sad around the edges, and talked about himself in the plural – he was dealing with things considerably better than Dean or Sam would – and Fred had been his fuckin’ twin.

“Throw this at your brother’s head,” George said, handing a candy out to Sam.

“What?” Sam and Dean both asked at once. George pressed the candy into Sam’s hand and smiled.

“Just do it,” he said. “Don’t move your arms, Dean”

Sam raised an eyebrow, and Dean was sure he must be wearing a similar expression, then Sam shrugged and lobbed the candy at Dean’s face. Dean debated opening his mouth to try to catch it, but it was still in its wrapper, and George had already shown them the candies that made you puke. It didn’t matter, however, whether Dean opened his mouth of not, because about six inches from Dean’s face, the candy hit some invisible barrier and bounced away.

“What the...?” Dean said.

“It’s the hat,” George explained, though he was lacking a bit of his earlier enthusiasm. “It has a shield charm for the head and face. It deflects simple spells too, but I thought demonstrating that before explaining might not be the wisest move, given who you two are.”

Dean laughed at that, “smart man.”

Dean picked up a bowler hat, reached up and put it on Sam’s hat – then laughed before even throwing anything at him, because it was Sam wearing a bowler hat. Sam’s glare only made it more ridiculous.

“Hey George?” Dean said, “Do you sell itching powder?”

“Dean, don’t!” Sam said.

At George’s wide mischievous grin, Dean threw a wink at Sam – who was pulling off the bowler hat and making a show of looking huffy. Sam paused for a second and Dean saw the brief flash of understanding.

“Fine,” Sam said, “if you’re going to tell him about the prank wars – then, I better make sure he hears how I totally won our last one. When you told Albus, you only told the bits that made you look good.”

“I always look good,” Dean deadpanned, flicking the brim of the fedora he still wore. “Now, George, have you ever heard of Nair?”

“Or contact-glue?” Sam added in.

“You have our undivided attention,” George said, his smile lighting up his whole face. “Please step into our office, dear friends!”


Harry watched as Dean and Sam disappeared in the back room of the shop with George.

“I have a vaguely ominous feeling,” Harry muttered.

“Do you think I’d look good in a fedora?” Ron asked.


Harry had come to get them out of the office after about an hour. They were still all laughing at George’s story about the mayhem they’d caused for some horrible teacher in their final year of school.

“I hate to interrupt – especially that story,” Harry said, “but Bill has to get home and apparently there’s some business he wants to discuss with George before he leaves.”

“Oh, right, ok,” George said, then turned back to Sam and Dean, “you fellows will visit again before you go back to America, yeah? I haven’t even got to the best part yet.”

“There’s more? Oh man, yeah, definitely,” Dean laughed, as they headed out of the workshop area and back into the main shop.

Bill shook their hands and told them it was nice to meet them, before disappearing into the back office with George. Ron was busy with customers. Harry explained that a lot of parents took their younger kids to the shop as a special treat after their older siblings left on the train for school.

Then a young girl accidentally knocked over a small display of daydream potions, and Harry had to jump in before someone hurt themselves on the broken glass or any of the customers accidentally became catatonic for 30 minutes. Dean and Sam just stood out of the way, by the front door, while Harry cleaned up the mess and let the girls and her parents apologize to him for what seemed like forever. Dean looked out the window at the wizards walking up and down the street outside – some in funny outfits, and some looking absolutely normal.

Suddenly, one of the people on the street started looking familiar. He was dressed in a sweeping black trench coat, and Dean couldn’t see his face from the angle he was on – but Dean was willing to bet that there weren’t that many wizards who were that blonde.

“Sammy, check it out,” Dean hit Sam in the arm, “let’s go say hello!”

“Wha-” Sam started to say, but Dean was already moving out the door. The “Dean!” that he heard a half-second later confirmed that Sam was following him.

He was across the narrow alley way in five strides, and tapped the man on the shoulder.

“Hey Drake!” Dean said, as Draco Malfoy whipped around starred at him with wide-eyes. Dean gave him a smile and then realized that he had a little kid with him - a little kid that looked almost exactly like him, and who was currently looking at Dean and Sam warily, while his father held his hand in a tight grip.

“Hey, this must be your son...Scorpion?” Dean said, dropping into a crouch so that he wouldn’t tour over the little boy so much.

“Scorpius,” Scorpius said in a small but clear voice.

“Oh, my mistake,” Dean smiled. He glanced back up at Draco to see him still standing with wide-eyes, like Dean was some sort of ghost. “It’s nice to meet you, Scorpius. My name is Dean, and the giant there is my brother, Sam.”

“He’s not a giant,” Scorpius laughed, and then Draco seemed to come out of his stupor.

“Dean, Sam...” Draco said, then he glanced up and down the street as though he were looking for someone else. “What are you doing in London? What are you doing here?”

Draco’s free hand moved to Scorpius’s shoulder as he pulled the kid closer to him. Dean suddenly remembered that Draco spooked easy, so he made sure to smile, as he stood up and mindfully moved a little bit away from the kid.

“Harry asked us to come help out a bit with the recent...uh, problems,” Dean answered, suddenly wondering how much of Harry’s job was confidential – but then, Draco had helped Harry break into confidential files the year before, so maybe it didn’t matter with him.

“Problems?” Draco asked.

“You know...the ghosts problems,” Dean said dismissively, mindful that they were on a public street.

“Oh,” Draco said, shifting on his feet and looking away, “I’ve heard rumours...wasn’t sure...” he trailed off, and then seemed to remember who he was talking to. “If Harry called you then...are the attacks connected with...”

“No,” Sam said. “At least, we don’t think so. We’re only part way through the investigation.”

“Oh,” Draco replied, glancing at Sam and still looking a little wary. Dean wondered how much he knew about what had gone down in May.

“We’ll fix it,” Dean said.

Draco just nodded, but judging by the way Scorpius suddenly squirmed, Dean could tell that Draco had tightened the grip he had on the kid’s shoulders.

“Draco?” a woman’s voice suddenly spoke up next to them, “are you going to introduce me to these two eye-catching gentlemen?”

Dean turned to see a beautiful woman with long dark hair that was swept back off her shoulders with a low fancy clip. She was wearing wizard robes, but for some reason Dean didn’t think they looked funny on her. She looked almost regal – but not very approachable. Dean gave her a smile, and found that at least she smiled back a little.

“Hi Mummy!” Scorpius said, and Dean noted how her smile became more genuine and soft when she looked at her son.

“Astoria,” Draco said, and if he had seemed out of his depth before, he looked even more so now. “I...would like you to meet Dean and Sam W-”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Astoria,” Sam said, cutting Draco off.

“Americans?” Astoria said, noting Sam’s accent. “May I ask how it is that you know my husband?”

“He helped Harry and us out with something once,” Dean replied, keeping it vague just in case Draco didn’t tell his wife about the illegal activity he got up to the year before.

“You’re friends of Harry Potter?” Astoria asked, smiling.

“Yeah,” Sam replied. “He invited us to come visit, so we thought we’d take him up on it. We’ve never been to England before.”

“He was just showing us his brother-in-law’s joke-shop, and I saw Drake here out the window, so I thought I’d come say hello,” Dean added.

“I want to see the joke-shop,” Scorpius suddenly pouted, drawing everyone’s attention back down to him.

“Scorpius...” Draco sighed, giving them an embarrassed glance. “You know there are some places that...I’m not welcome in.”

“What about Mummy?” Scorpius asked.

“No, Scorpius,” Draco replied.

“I don’t think he’d give me a hard time, dear...” Astoria started to say, “I wasn’t...” she trailed off, and looked apologetically at Draco for whatever she almost said.

“I could take him,” Sam suddenly said, and Dean turned to look at him with the same look of surprise as Draco and Astoria. Sam shrugged. “We just met George, and he was really nice – I mean, the kid didn’t have anything to do with the war...if he still has a problem with it, I’ll just take him back out – but he was busy in the back anyway when we came out here, so it’s just Harry and Ron in there and I’m sure they’d be cool with it. Anyway, I’ll watch out for him.”

Sam always rambled when he was nervous, and Dean knew he meant well – but judging by the death grip that Draco had on Scorpius’ shoulder, he doubted they’d go for it.

“Please, Daddy! Please, Mummy!” Scorpius said trying to twist out of Draco’s grip to face them.

“Is it ok if you go in with Sam, sweetheart?” Astoria asked Scorpius.

“Astoria!” Draco said, jaw dropping open and eyes widening.

“Any friend of Harry’s is a friend of ours,” Astoria said slowly to Draco.

“But-” Draco said, but Scorpius had successfully twisted out of Draco’s grip and was now dancing excitedly in front of his mother.

“Can I buy something?” Scorpius asked. Astoria reached into her purse and pulled out some coins, handing them to Sam.

“He can spend ten galleons, and that’s it,” Astoria instructed, as much to Scorpius as to Sam. “And if you could have him out within a half-hour, that would be splendid. Draco and I will wait here.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Sam said. He turned to grab Scorpius’ hand, but it was awkward with how tall Sam was and how little the kid was. Sam dropped into a crouch next to Scorpius instead and whispered something to him, to which Scorpius nodded vigorously. Then in one movement, Sam scooped Scorpius up and sat him on one of his broad shoulders. Scorpius let out a delighted giggle, and Sam gave them a wave as he walked across the road – one hand holding Scorpius firmly in place.

Dean smiled and turned back to Draco, only to find him starring at the shop door looking horrified.

“He’ll be fine, man. Relax,” Dean said. “Sam’s fine with kids – little awkward, maybe, but he’s awkward with pretty much everyone.”

“Draco’s a little overprotective,” Astoria said. Dean nodded – he understood better than probably Astoria did. After all, depending how much Draco knew about how Lucifer’s cage was sprung...

“I mean it,” Dean said to Draco. “Your kid will be fine. My brother will protect him with his life. I hope you ain’t judging him based on...we all make mistakes sometimes, you should know that.”

That seemed to do the trick, because Draco looked back at Dean and nodded. Astoria was giving them a quizzical look, so Dean decided a subject change was in order.

“So, um, can I ask about the money?” Dean said. “Because I mean, we used Pounds all yesterday, but ever since we got on this street everyone’s only been talking about “galleons” ...”

“You’re Muggles?” Astoria gasped, then she turned to Draco, “You...they’re friends of Harry Potter and they’re Muggles...”

Dean worried for a moment that he had said something wrong, but then Astoria’s face broke into a genuine smile. He didn’t know what to make of the fact that Draco looked slightly terrified.

Chapter 13
Tags: crossover, demented'verse, fic, harry potter, season 5

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  • Happy Anniversary to Me!

    *Technically, the anniversary is tomorrow - but I have two other things to post tomorrow and I didn't want to overwhelm you all. DRUMROLL.... 10…

  • Computer repaired!

    Panic is over!! Thanks for the good thoughts!

  • Broken Computer :(

    I was halfway through the rewatch for today when suddenly my keyboard stopped working - so I was like "okay, I will turn this computer off and…