Hell's Half Acre (hells_half_acre) wrote,
Hell's Half Acre

Fic: Vile Violent Vacations 3/30 (SPN/HP) PG-13, Gen

Title: Vile Violent Vacations 3/30
Author: hells_half_acre 
Fandoms: Harry Potter, Supernatural
Rating: PG-13 (for language)
Genre: Gen
Warnings: Spoilers for all Harry Potter books, spoilers for Supernatural until 5x10.
Disclaimer:  This is a transformative work of fiction for entertainment purposes only.
AN: Sequel to Damned Demented Demons and Bobby and Hermione - An Epistolary Fic . Updates every Wednesday (PST).

Previous Chapters: 1 | 2

Summary: In which there is a tour of the house and an interesting proposition

They started the tour on the second floor, since they were already there. Now that most of Sam’s fears were allayed, he was able to take in more of the house. The hallways were dark and narrow, but the rooms were large.

“There’s a bath, here, right next to your room,” Harry pointed out, “we use the one upstairs, so this one’s all yours. Through here is my study.”

Sam followed Harry into the room that Ginny and the kids had disappeared into earlier. There were large windows that looked out over the street, where Sam could see the Impala, and a large fireplace on the far wall behind an oak desk. Ginny sat at the desk reading, while the boys played with the toys that were scattered all over the floor. There were bookshelves and filing cabinets along every available wall except for one, and a playpen sitting in the corner with a sleepy toddler in it.

“There you are,” Ginny said, “Is the one room alright?”

“It’s fine, thanks,” Dean said with a smile.

“Brilliant,” Ginny replied, then turned to Harry, “I’m going to take the boys down for lunch, so you can make the kitchen your last stop on the tour. Could you mind Lily?”

“Sure, love,” Harry said. Sam looked around the room while Ginny urged the boys downstairs.

“The Most Noble and Ancient House of Black” Sam read aloud, looking at all the faces and odd names on the only wall not covered in bookshelves. Some pictures seemed newer than others, with odd scorch marks around the edges of them. Sam ran a finger along one and could feel where the new tapestry threads were woven into the old slightly burnt ones.

“That’s my Godfather” Harry explained, and Sam looked underneath his finger to read the name Sirius. “He’s the one that left me the house,” Harry continued. “I had to have the tapestry repaired, because his parents had burnt his face away when he refused to support Voldemort and ran away from home.”

“His parents supported Voldemort?” Sam asked, though the answer was obvious.

“The whole family did,” Harry explained, “the Blacks were pure-blood, elitist, and prejudice. Only Sirius and Andromeda rebelled.” Harry pointed to the portrait of a witch – Sirius’ cousin- which was also a new addition to the tapestry. He then slid his finger over to another new picture. “Andromeda married Ted Tonks, a Muggle-born. They had Nymphadora, who married my dad’s friend Remus Lupin, and they had my Godson Teddy.”

“So, Teddy is the last of the Black line?” Sam asked, looking at all the new additions Harry had pointed to.

“Teddy is a Lupin,” Harry answered, “I think Sirius would actually be happy that there’s no true Blacks left in the world. I’ve left Teddy the house in my will though. It should be his.” Then Harry pointed to another name on the wall, one that was familiar to both Sam and Dean,

“Strictly speaking though, Malfoy is more of a Black than Teddy is.”

“They’re cousins?” Sam asked astonished, remembering the awkward tension between Harry and Draco.

“Once removed,” Harry answered. Sam realized that Draco’s portrait wasn’t new, which only meant…

“Malfoy supported Voldemort?” Sam whispered surprised, trying to remember all he could about the reserved blond man that had helped them the previous year.

“He made a mistake,” Dean suddenly spoke up from behind Sam. Sam turned to his brother in confusion. He had to admit, he had gotten so caught up, he'd forgotten his brother was in the room. Now though, he realized that Dean had already known.

“How-" Sam started, but Dean interrupted.

“I’m sure you can relate, Sam,” Dean said in a monotone. Sam shut his mouth and nodded.

“I didn’t realize you knew,” Harry said.

“He told me last year,” Dean shrugged, “explained about his father.”

Oh, Sam thought.

“There are a couple of people on the tapestry who went against Voldemort in the end,” Harry said, turning back to the wall. “Even Draco’s parents refused to fight in the final battle,” Harry pointed to the two names, “Draco’s mother actually saved my life by telling Voldemort that I was dead when I wasn’t,” then Harry’s fingers slid over to the portrait besides Sirius, “and Sirius’s brother, Regulus, found out about the Horcruxes before anyone else did and died trying to destroy one. He was dead for nearly 20 years before we found out what he’d done. I think people like them make up for people like Bellatrix.”

“What’d she do?” Sam asked.

“She killed Sirius and Teddy’s Mum,” Harry said, “and my friend Dobby, and-”

“Holy shit,” Sam said, cutting Harry off. “Are you sure Wizards aren’t evil?”

“Some of them are, but that’s why I have a job,” Harry shrugged.

“Did you kill her?” Dean asked.

“Ron’s Mum did, yeah,” Harry answered.

“Good,” Dean said.

“Alright, we’ve gotten sidetracked enough,” Harry suddenly declared, before Sam could ask his next question. “I’m supposed to be showing you the house, not giving you a history lesson. Come on, I’ll show you the upstairs briefly and then we’ll go join Ginny for lunch.”

Sam followed Harry out of the room and up the stairs to the third floor. He didn’t notice that Dean wasn’t behind him until he heard his brother jogging up the stairs to catch up. Once they were on the landing, Harry turned to look at them and Sam watched as his eyes landed on Dean and then went a little wide. Sam immediately turned to see what was wrong with his brother, but Dean was fine – he just had a sleepy, but awake, toddler in his arms.

“Um, Ginny said to watch her,” Dean said, “I didn’t think you were supposed to leave babies alone for too long, so I thought I’d bring her with. She didn’t cry when I picked her up.”

“I forgot,” Harry said, rubbing a hand over his face, “I’m such a rubbish father.”

Dean laughed softly. Sam watched as the baby smiled at the noise.

“Don’t worry about it, Harry,” Dean said, “Sam was distracting you with all those questions.”

“That’s no excuse,” Harry muttered.

“Dude,” Dean insisted, “my Dad once drove off and left Sammy and me at a gas station. He was driving ten minutes before he realized he was missing his kids. Leaving your amazingly quiet toddler in her playpen is hardly being a bad father.”

“I don’t remember that,” Sam said, as Harry reached over to take Lily out of Dean’s arms.

“You were three,” Dean replied, making sure Harry had a hold of the kid before he let go. “I let you splash in some puddles and you didn’t even notice he was gone. Actually, you cried when he came back, because you liked the puddles so much.”

Sam and Dean shared a smile at the thought. They turned back to Harry to find him looking as if he couldn’t decide what his reaction to the conversation should be.

“So, um, this is Lily’s nursery,” Harry said opening the door behind him, then walked down the hall and opened the other door “and this is my and Ginny’s room.” Harry pointed to the floor above them with his free hand, “the boys’ rooms are on the floor just above us – they’re kind of mess, so I won’t bother showing you. The floor above them has Teddy’s room and the other spare room.”

“You have a lot of floors,” Sam observed.

“Well, that’s London for you – the houses are skinny, but tall,” Harry replied. “I like it much better than the suburbs though. In the suburbs, if your lawn looks nice enough than no one says a word about the skinny kid you’ve got locked in the closet.”

“Yeah, suburbs can be pretty creepy,” Dean said, and Sam was glad that Dean knew how to answer casually to what Harry had said, because Sam sure as hell didn’t. “So, where’s your boy Teddy?”

“He lives with his Grandmother,” Harry said. “I just keep a room for him so that he always knows he is welcome, and so he feels at home when his Grandmum wants a little break. He’ll be by tomorrow.”

They followed Harry down the stairs next. Lily kept her eyes on Sam and Dean over her father’s shoulder. Sam was surprised she wasn’t more scared of them. Occasionally she would smile or giggle, while looking at Dean, and Sam would turn his head in time to see Dean’s wipe a smile off his face and then try to look innocent.

They reached the entryway again, and Harry waved an arm through the archway into a living room area. There was a fireplace and some couches and chairs, and an ornate chandelier.

“That used to be a formal dining room, but we changed it,” Harry said, “the kitchen is big enough to eat in, and we aren’t the formal dinner type of people.”

“How come this wall is thicker than the others?” Dean suddenly asked, running his hand over the wall in question. Now that Sam's attention was brought to it, he could see the difference. A portion of the wall jutted out thicker than the rest, though for no discernable architectural purpose.

“We had to plaster over something,” Harry answered with an odd smile. Dean shrugged.

“Just as long as it’s not a body,” Dean said, “’cause that’s just asking for trouble.”

“It’s not a body,” Harry laughed, “come on, the kitchen is down these steps.”

They followed Harry down a few steps and through another heavy door into a huge cavernous room. It was brightly lit by wall sconces, which reminded Sam of the ones he had seen at the Ministry of Magic in America the previous year. There was a fireplace big enough to walk into on the far wall. James and Albus sat across from each other near the end of a large wooden table, eating sloppily as only children do – well, children and sometimes Dean.

“It smells delicious in here,” Dean said, moving into the room. Ginny looked up from where she was standing by the stove.

“I was beginning to think you’d all gotten lost in the house somewhere,” she said, “sit down. I’ll fix you some plates.”

“Sit here!” James said, pointing to the chair next to him and looking at Dean.

“Ok, thanks,” Dean replied, and Sam honestly couldn’t tell if he was talking to Ginny or James. Sam moved around to the other side of the table. He put his hands on the back of the chair next to Albus, who was looking at him warily.

“Do you mind if I sit here, Albus?” Sam asked, and actually felt relieved when the kid nodded slowly at him. Sam smiled at the wide-green eyes – the kid looked so much like Harry, only with freckles.

Harry put Lily in the high chair on the other side of James, and took the seat next to it at the head of the table. Ginny placed some plates in front of them, and took the open seat on the other side of Albus. For a while, the adults all ate in silence. Sam was impressed that Dean managed to have some table manners. It was actually Sam who found himself reaching to eat something off Dean’s plate as usual, before remembering they weren’t alone and quickly drawing his hand back.

“So, uh, you know I said that Teddy would be coming over tomorrow?” Harry asked, and Sam could help but notice the small hesitation in his voice and the way Ginny paused in eating.

“Yeah,” Sam and Dean both answered.

“Well, he goes back to school on Sunday – it’s boarding school, you know, so we won’t see him for a bit,” Harry explained. “And it’s sort of a tradition that we have a bit of a…well, a family dinner.”

“Oh, no problem,” Dean said. “We can steal some license plates and drive around.”

“No, no,” Harry said, “that’s not what I….well, I mean, if you want to you can…but what I was trying to say was that you’re more than welcome to join us, as long as you don’t mind the extra people.”

“How many extra people?” Sam asked.

“My parents,” Ginny answered, “Teddy’s Grandmum, Ron and Hermione and their kids, my brother Bill and his daughter, I think that’s it.”

“It’s just for dinner, then everyone will go home,” Harry said, “Teddy will stay here, and we’ll take him to the train in the morning.”

“Hm, ok,” Dean said, catching Sam’s eye, “if you don’t mind having us around.”

“Of course not,” Harry said, “I must admit, everyone is a little bit curious to meet you. Plus, you have to prove to my mother-in-law that you aren’t going to mur-OW!”

“Not in front of the children!” Ginny said, and Sam was only confused for a second before he put it together.

“We wouldn’t,” Sam said.

“I know,” Harry said, “but Hunters don’t have the best reputation in the Wizarding world.”

“No problem,” Dean said, “I assure you there will be no mur-OW!”

“Dean!” Sam said, drawing his foot back and cutting a glance to the kids, who were looking at the Winchesters with curious expressions.

“Don’t kick me!” Dean growled, “You fu-OW!”

Sam drew his foot back again and glanced over at Ginny to apologize for his brother, only to find her trying desperately to stifle her laughter.

“There’s one other thing,” Harry said, not bothering to hide his smile.

“What?” Dean asked, while rubbing his shin under the table.

“I was wondering if you’d be willing to teach at Hogwarts.”

“You want us to…what?


As Ginny took the children back upstairs to the study, Harry explained about underage Wizarding laws. With the increased Supernatural activity, Harry was concerned mostly with everyone under the age of seventeen who couldn’t just fire off a quick defensive spell, or apparate away from the situation, because they weren’t allowed to do magic outside of school.

“Most don’t even bother carrying their wands with them at all times, like I used to do,” Harry said. “They’d be forgiven for defending themselves of course, but they still worry about getting into trouble, or using accidental magic. I just thought, if I could get you to come in and give a talk...show them how people without magic protect themselves...well, that would at least be something.”

“Harry I don’t know...” Dean said, “it’s not the best stuff for kids to hear about.”

“They already know about it though,” Harry said, “at least the Wizarding side of things. They learn about werewolves and vampires by the time they’re thirteen. The kids from Wizarding families know about magical creatures long before school. There are ghosts at the school already. They just don’t have any experience with the unfriendly kind. Peeves is a nuisance, but he’s tame in comparison to Muggle poltergeists.”

“How come we get all the evil stuff anyway?” Dean asked. “How is that fair?”

“You don’t have a monopoly on evil,” Harry replied lowly. “Dean, I’m not asking you to tell them about the apocalypse, or Lucifer, or Hell. You don’t even have to tell them about demons, if you don’t want to – I’m just asking you to tell them how to put salt on their window sills and recognize the presence of a malevolent spirit.”

“Shouldn’t their parents be looking out for them?” Dean threw back. “Isn’t checking under the beds for monsters their job?”

“And where are their parents going to learn it?” Harry asked.

“Dean...” Sam finally spoke up, speaking carefully.

“Sam, don’t you dare,” Dean glared at his brother. Sam only sighed and looked down at his half-empty plate.

“You agree with me, don’t you Sam?” Harry guessed. Sam ignored Harry in order to look at Dean.

“They need to know how to protect-” Sam started only to be cut off.

“They’re innocent kids, Sam,” Dean said. “They don’t need to know what’s out there!”

“They’re witches, already,” Sam replied, “and if we can’t stop L-”

“Enough,” Dean interrupted. “God, it’s like the Adam argument all over again.”

“But maybe if we had taught Adam before-” Sam tried.

“Don’t, Sam,” Dean said, “Just don’t.”

Sam quieted at that. Staring down at the table and giving a small resigned nod. Harry had completely lost the thread of the conversation, and wasn’t quite sure anymore if his side was winning.

“You do realize that I’m going to train them anyway right?” Harry said. “They’re already being trained to use magic against evil. Wizards already know the truth of the world, they aren’t like Muggles. If this is an argument about protecting their innocence...well, that ship has already sailed.”

Harry watched as Sam blew out a long breath and Dean folded his arms and glared at the table. Harry tried not to fidget in the silence. He thought back to the yelling matches the Winchesters had had during Harry’s time with them the previous year. So far, this disagreement had been quite different. There had been no yelling, no escalation. It was just a disagreement, discussed calmly across the table from each other.

“Alright then,” Dean said, “we’ll do it.”

“You sure?” Sam asked, before Harry could.

“Yeah,” Dean said, “plus, I bet you want to see that castle.”

A soft smile graced Sam’s face as he ducked his head a little.

“I’ll go pull our journals from the car,” Sam said, pushing back from the table, “see if I can draw up a lesson plan.”

“Lesson plans? Really? Should I start calling you Mr. Winchester and asking for a hall pass?” Dean said to Sam’s retreating back. Sam just flipped him off without a backward glance.

Harry chuckled and began collecting the plates from around the table. The routine was that if Ginny did the cooking, Harry would do the washing up.

“Let me help you with that,” Dean said, grabbing his and Sam’s plate.

“It’s alright, you’re a guest, Dean,” Harry said, placing the plates in the sink and running the tap.

“Don’t care. I’ll dry,” Dean replied, grabbing the tea towel next to the sink.

“Thanks then,” Harry smiled. “Are you sure you’re alright with all this. I didn’t mean to start an argument. It was just an idea.”

“It’s fine, Harry,” Dean said dismissively. “Like you said, these kids might need to defend themselves, and if they can’t do it with magic...well, Sam and I sort of made this mess, and...”

“It's not your fault,” Harry said.

Dean just sighed and shook his head. Harry didn’t quite know how to interpret it. So he figured now was as good a time as any to ask questions.

“Who’s Adam?” Harry asked, handing Dean a plate to dry.

“Someone who is better off where he is,” Dean answered vaguely.

“Where is he?” Harry asked.

“Dead,” Dean replied, waving the dried plate around a little and looking at the cupboards.

“Oh,” Harry said. “Uh, plates go in the cupboard to your right.”

Harry watched as Dean put the plate away, wondering how he was supposed to move the conversation from here.

“You and Sam seem to be getting on much better than last year,” Harry tried to go for something positive. Dean looked at him blankly for a second, as Harry handed him another plate, then he glanced over his shoulder at the door.

“You think?” Dean asked.

“Yeah,” Harry said, “you just had a disagreement without shouting at each other, or someone storming off.”

“Huh,” Dean replied. “So, you noticed last year that...” he trailed off, moving his free hand vaguely through the air.

“That things were a bit tense?” Harry asked, “yeah, a little.”

Dean fell silent for a minute. Harry thought maybe the conversation was over, when Dean started speaking again in a soft voice.

“Last year, with Adam...I mean, Sam was just wearing me out. I love him, but he wears me out, man...” Dean shook his head slowly, and Harry thought of the times he had seen Molly make an eerily similar expression. “...at the time, I just couldn’t imagine having two-”

“I pulled Dad’s journal too,” Sam announced as he walked into the kitchen, “I figured the first few pages lay out the standard stuff pretty well, even if he did write like Yoda.”

“Yeah, ok, Sam,” Dean replied, before he turned back to Harry. For a second, Harry hoped he was going to finish whatever he had been trying to say before, but instead he asked, “are we still teaching your Wizard-hunters too, Harry?"

“Yes,” Harry replied, “I still have to work out the details for Hogwarts, but I’ve called a mandatory Auror training session for Monday.”

“What kind of problems have you been having anyway?” Dean asked, “you want to give us a rundown?”

“Why don’t we wait until my second in command gets here,” Harry answered.

“Do you want us to cover demons with the Aurors too?” Sam asked, “because I’m not sure...I was thinking of just making one lesson plan for both, but the kids are what? Eleven?”

“The youngest are, yeah,” Harry answered, “maybe just do demons with the older ones.”

They lapsed into a conversation about what to include and not to include with both the Aurors and the children at Hogwarts. Harry and Dean still washing dishes, while Sam sat at the table flipping through old leather bound books and making notes. Harry could have just flicked his wand at the dishes and had them wash themselves, but he didn’t want to inundate the Winchesters with too much magic right away. When the dishes were washed, dried, and put away, Harry and Dean moved to the table to help Sam leaf through the journals and plan out the essentials of what they should be teaching both groups.

Ginny joined them once she had gotten the children down for their afternoon nap and the conversation shifted to what the Winchesters might like to see while they were in London. The Winchesters didn’t seem to know much about London attractions, not that Harry was surprised. They both admitted that between their job, Dean’s fear of flying, and their car full of illegal weapons, they had both resigned themselves to the idea that they would never see anything outside of the US. Ginny immediately began to plan out an itinerary for the weekend, insisting that the Winchesters not worry about the Auror business until Monday. The time passed quickly, and before Harry knew it, soft chimes filled the air in the kitchen.

“That’ll be Lily,” Ginny said, just as a slightly different melody joined with the first. “And there’s James, who will no doubt wake Albus.”

“Where…?” Dean said, cocking his head to listen to the chimes as though trying to find their source.

“Ginny puts a charm on the children’s beds. It makes chimes sound in the study, our bedroom, and the kitchen when they wake up. There’s a slightly different melody for each.” Harry explained.

“Go on and get them, Harry,” Ginny said, “I better put tea on. Hermione and Ron will be here shortly.”

Harry made his exit, stopping first at Lily’s room. He could already hear James and Albus on the floor above – the doors of their bedrooms open and their voices carrying down the stairs. It sounded like harmless playing, nothing had dissolved into arguments over toys yet, so Harry took his time changing Lily and making sure she was happy and smiling before he made his way up to the boys’ rooms.

Harry couldn’t help how his mind circled around the Winchesters. There were so many questions he wanted to ask them, but didn’t know how he could. Firstly, they looked exhausted and this was all supposed to be a ruse to trick them into resting. Harry wasn’t sure how he could be successful where their friend Bobby had failed, but he’d do his best. Secondly, asking the Winchesters anything about the apocalypse would probably be like pulling grenade pins.

He collected James and Albus, telling them to pick some toys to bring down to the living room. Harry wondered if maybe he was being careless, inviting the Hunters into his home. Sam and Dean were friends though, and educated on wizards now, thanks to last year’s events, but still – they were Hunters that seemed to have both Heaven and Hell against them. Maybe Harry was just inviting trouble.

When friends ask for help, even indirectly, you give it, Harry reminded himself, and then broke up the fight brewing between James and Albus about who got to carry the toy train downstairs.

He finally got the children to the bottom of the staircase, when he saw the brief flash of light from the open kitchen door that signalled a floo arrival.

“WHAT THE FUCK?” Dean’s voice came immediately afterwards.

“Daddy,” James said in a whisper, “your friend said a bad word!”

“I know, James,” Harry replied cringing, “Daddy really should have warned his friends about how Aunt Hermione and Uncle Ron would be arriving.”

Chapter 4

Fanart by mattheal 
Tags: crossover, demented'verse, fic, harry potter, season 5

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