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Blah, Novels...

So, as some of you know, I've been trying to write my novel again. It's not working out so well. Remember my demented!verse? Remember how I was able to post a chapter every week? Yeah, in the past two months I've only managed a page and a half of Chapter 3 of my novel. Sigh...I can see it all in my head, but I can't seem to get it on paper.

Anyway, for those of you who might be interested, here is an excerpt from Chapter 3 that I am happy with:

It was just after the lunch rush, when Seth realized that maybe none of it had happened at all. He was counting the number of brownies left in the glass display case. He had already counted the poppy seed bagels and the baked rice squares. This wasn’t part of his job, but there was no one lined up at the moment, and for some reason counting the desserts felt like something he should do. He also thought that maybe he should wipe down the counter again, but he had just done so ten minutes ago.

The thought snuck its way into his head somewhere between counting the fifth and the eighth brownie. Maybe it really had been a dream. Maybe Vincent was alright, off somewhere in his car, smiling. He’d be by after Seth’s shift to give him a lift home. Seth would give him a free coffee. Vincent would sip it slowly while Seth ditched his apron and got his bag from the back room. Vincent wouldn’t be able to start his car on the first attempt and would curse and then start it the second time. Seth would laugh at him. Maybe they wouldn’t drive to Seth’s place right away or maybe Vincent would want to go someplace else. It was a sunny day, maybe Vincent would like to go for ice cream. Yes, maybe that’s what would happen. They’d go for ice cream and sit outside on a picnic table in the park. One of Vincent’s friends would wander by – maybe Jason, who was always skating around town in the summers. Jason would stop and chat with them. Maybe mention how there was another group of their friends hanging out at Lauren’s pool. Vincent might want to go swim in the pool. Jason would take off, and Vincent would drive Seth home then, but only to get his swim trunks, and then he’d be dragged over to Lauren’s. He’d protest, of course, because he didn’t like crowds, but, once they got there, Seth would slip into the cool water and close his eyes and he wouldn’t regret going at all. Vincent would say ‘see’, and Seth would say ‘shut-up’, and then Vincent would talk to everyone else there and ignore Seth until it was time to go. Seth would just swim and float. He’d laugh when someone said something funny, and every once in a while he would dive underwater and sit at the bottom of the pool and let the chlorine sting his eyes while he watched the distorted shapes of people moving around above him. When he was desperate for breath, he’d push his way to the surface and the noise of chatting and laughing would erupt around him as soon as he broke the surface. Vincent would be there, his laugh loudest out of everyone.

Seth sold two brownies, one green tea, and two iced chais, wiped the counter down, restocked the stack of medium cups, counted the baklava, and mixed three smoothies. At the end of his shift, he poured a cup of coffee and tried not to notice his hands shaking. He sat it on the counter and then ditched his apron and got his bag from the back. He waited.


I'm just posting this because I'm bored out of my tree and I still have to kill 1.5 hours before I can go to the awesome concert I have tickets for tonight.

Don't be too cruel if you don't like it. And, I apologize for it not being related to any fandom at all. I also apologize for not giving you any of the back-story, but hey - spoiler alert: Vincent isn't coming and Seth already knows this.

Comments

( 2 comments — Leave a comment )
lelaro
Feb. 1st, 2010 03:40 am (UTC)
i'm kinda liking the longing in seth's voice. the quiet fantasy is very peaceful and summer-like to me if that makes any sense.
hells_half_acre
Feb. 1st, 2010 08:02 am (UTC)
Cool! That's good! One of the things I'm having trouble getting across is the setting - the "present" portion of the book takes place in summer...so I'm glad that came across in this. (There are flashbacks that take place in Winter and Spring, and the epilogue takes place in the Fall.)

I'm finding Seth easiest to write, really, which is pretty surprising to me, since all Seth's story-line is very internal, and I had sort of envisioned myself at being better at dialogue - but so far writing the dialogue is like pulling teeth and writing Seth's thoughts is really easy...and Seth is all kinds of messed up, so I really didn't think it would be as easy as it is.
( 2 comments — Leave a comment )